Not Sure Where to Take Child Abuse Case Now

by M.A.L.T

I have just stumbled across this website by pure chance 5 minutes ago and boy am I pleased I did. I was searching google with "child abuse case didnt go to court. What next" so Im now going to try my best to fill you in on the events in my life.

When I was 4 my Uncle/brother started abusing me. This carried on until I was almost 15 and only stopped because I spoke out. After I spoke out I was shocked to learn that my Brother and biological Mother were also abused (heres the first confusing part. My Bio Mother gave birth to me aged 17 and when I was 18 months old she simply walked out on me leaving me at my Grandparents saying she was going to bank. She never rturned. So after a few months my Grandparents took it to court to get custody over me. My mother didnt even bother turning up to hand me over. So I then grew up with my Grandparets and started to call them Mum and Dad. There two sons, my uncles, my mothers brothes, were then known as my uncles) my bio mother had been abused for 10 years until she gave birth to me then he moved onto my other brother for 10 years. Then me. He abused for 30 years.

The police were called in (I would like to add the abuser was deaf, mute and bad eyesight) and he was questioned straight away. To this day my brother and I have never ever spoken about what happened to us to each other but the police noticed an abuse pattern emerging. We moved to Scotland when I was 6 so most of my abuse happened in Scotland however the others were abused in England so the abuser was picked up by Northumbria police and taken down the road for questioning. The two laws on the abuse proved to be very frustrating. Anyway, a Doctor was called in to access him and he was deemed unfit to question due to his disability. He got off, but not before admitting to lude and libidinous behaviour with me. The Police didnt doubt our stories one bit and were massively upset that a Doctor that had never met him before ruled him unfit. Even though he admitted it.
10 years have passed since that day and I have always toyed with the idea of trying to get the case to court. Because believe me.... unfit this man is not! But I have always put it to one side until I was older. Well now Im older and feel as though I can take the case on.

I dont know if I can push for the case to be looked at again (bearing in mind the case was never actually closed and if he abused again we would be informed and our cases would appear again) with this double jep law I know you cant get a second court trial. I just dont see how he can go unpunished when he ADMITTED to it. Im pretty sure i could get my own independant Doctor in to access him. I guess Im just wanting to know if I can take the case anywhere. Also, since the abuse stopped my memory has got into one bad coping habbit.... its making me forget. Sad thing is its also deleting the good times to. I was only able to remember snippets after it all died down with no chargr etc. But I then started medatation and relaxation exercise with the one aim of opening up my mind and getting memories back. It then dawned on me just how much I had left out of the orignal case. I was 14 at the time and just wanted the interview to be over (CID came up to my school one day completely unanounced and took me down to police station to start questioning. They didnt even inform my parents!) I don't know if I'm able to add to my original case. Im fully aware of how this might look to police but Im also hoping that they will understand why I kept bits back A) I wasnt really old enough to understand some of the things they were asking B) it was two men and I felt extremely uncomfortable and just wanted to bolt and C) and didnt realise the importance of my statement at that point.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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Comments for Not Sure Where to Take Child Abuse Case Now

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May 17, 2013
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

This site was created primarily to give child abuse abuse victims a voice, a safe place to be heard. And though I've answered questions from my visitors in the past, my coaching practice, speaking engagements and writing no longer allows me time to do so.

You are posing scenarios that a lawyer would be in a better position to offer advice. What I can tell you is that changing a statement, or elaborating on one, will give ammunition to the defendant if it ever gets to court. They will challenge your ability to remember, even though studies show over and over that memories can be blocked or repressed and come back later. This could jeopardize a case if it ever got to court. The other thing I will pass along is that if you choose to go to court, you need to have done a lot of healing in order to avoid re-victimization. If you go trial expecting to get justice, but instead the system finds your abuser not guilty, or worse, finds you less believable or credible that your abuser, it could not only halt any healing progress, but set it back terribly. His admission of guilt may not even be admissible. If you spend your life trying to get justice against a system that isn't really in your court so to speak, then you will have spent years of your life continually giving power to your abuser and not living your own life. That doesn't mean you shouldn't pursue justice. I'm saying that it can't be your whole life, otherwise, your abuser continues to have power over you. If you choose to go this route, you must do so with your eyes wide open. I send you love, light and healing energy. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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