No Way Out

by Lindsey
(Location Undisclosed)

Im lindsey.. I've been in abusive relationships my entire life. It started with my stepfather when I was 5 or 6, I can't actually remember. At the time I wasn't aware of exactly what was going on. This is what started the drinking and drug use. When I was 11 I started dating, and at first it was actually helpful. I had a guy treat me like a princess. This only lasted a year. On our one year anniversary he forced himself on me and told me he knew its what I wanted. I think I stayed with him for a further month simply because I thought he loved me, after all he said it nonstop. It was when he gave me a black eye that my mom stopped it. She knew I was lying when I claimed I got it from playing basketball. Anyway I stayed away from guys until I was 14. Mistake #2. The next guy was 17 and again I thought I was in love because he always said those 3 words... That's the first time I was drugged and raped. I still don't remember much of it which is probably a good thing. But by now I associated love with pain, even though all I wanted was someone to hold me and make me feel safe..

anyway I've had enough. I'm 19 now and living with a college guy. I'm tired of being scared all the time and hurting all the time, just last night I got beaten so bad I thought I was gonna bleed to death. Before I started typing I shot up 20 CCs of heroin. Numb is so much better than fear. Il b dead within a few hours, painlessly the way I always wanted to live.

someone please read this and learn from my mistakes. Don't let it happen because there is no way out, all you know is being dead can't be any more sinful than this f**ked up existence.
feeling sleepy, its finally over

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Comments for No Way Out

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Jul 18, 2014
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I can only hope you were unsuccessful in your attempt to commit suicide. There IS a way out. There IS healing. This IS a reason to live. There are people who want to help you, but you must first reach out for that help. If you are in the USA, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). They have advocates available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week who can provide crisis intervention, escape planning, information and referrals to victims or anyone calling on their behalf. Visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser:

You are worthy of being treated with dignity and respect. You do not deserve to be mistreated in any way. Start by treating your Self with the dignity and respect you the number. I send you love, light and healing energy, Lindsey. You ARE loved, and that love does not hurt or harm. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Does Your Relationship make the Grade? by: Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
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