My best friend is an amazing person

by Dena
(Reynoldsburg, Ohio, USA)

My best friend was physically and sexually abused growing up. We were best friends, and still it was hard for her to tell, me even after it all was done. It really messes with a kid's head because you know, it's your mom or your dad or whatever. You have that emotional "I love you" stuck, and you're terrified of what will happen to your family and everything else.

Knowing what I know now from talking to her, I know how difficult and emotionally straining it is. Ever since she told me, I haven't been able to look at her father in the same way.

I know even now that he's gone, she still loves him. I don't know, it's a complicated feeling, but no one understands why she still loves her father but her. She's an amazing person.

Ever since she told me, I pray just about every night for those kids who are abused or neglected. I hope that one day no child will ever have to go through what my best friend did.

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Mar 12, 2008
You are a very good friend
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Dena, it's very unlikely your best friend understands why she still loves her molesting father. There is a dynamic present between an abuse victim and his or her sexual abuser, particularly when the offender is someone so trusted, like a father. A dynamic that can take up volumes to explain and analyze.

Continue to be there in a supportive capacity for your friend as she goes through what may be a roller coaster ride of emotions for some years to come. Perhaps not now, but possibly later on. But for now, just continue to live for the moment. Tomorrow will be here soon enough.

Thank you for honouring your friend through this website.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Mar 13, 2008
Best Friends
by: Aunt Sandy

You and your best friend are lucky to have each other. In a day and age of disposable marriages, children having children, and the short term more of interest than long term plans and goals, best friends are hard to find. You obviously care about this person, and you have surely come to the understand that though abuse forms who we grow into as adults, it does not have to control each and every aspect of our lives.

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