Forced Diapering For Discipline IS Child Abuse

by Anonymous
(Location Undisclosed)

Note from Darlene: 
With permission from the author, this post was moved from the comments section of a child abuse article about diaper discipline on this site titled Diaper Discipline vs Appearance. PLEASE ALSO NOTE: To those who comment on this or other diaper discipline threads on this site, this is NOT a place for diapering enthusiasts. This is a site about child abuse and its effects. Please post only comments that reflect the true subject matter. All others will be deleted before they go live on the site. I thank you for your understanding and for helping to maintain the integrity of my site.

Using forced diapering as a means of behavior modification does work but it absolutely is abusive as well. Just because something produces an intended result doesn't mean that the unintended consequences won't be worse than the initial issue. That's exactly the scenario here. The OP (original poster) is correct in that it crushes the self esteem of the child. There are much better and positive ways to provoke the desired behavioral change.

I was forced to wear diapers. My recollection of events aren't that great and I suspect it's because of how traumatic the experience was. I was a bed wetter when younger. I was put back in diapers as a result. It was a perfectly natural issue and wasn't used as discipline. However I grew attached to diapers and once taken out of them I would wear makeshift diapers using blankets and clothes pins. My mom caught me one day (older 4-year old - I remember as it was right before starting kindergarten) and said that if I wanted to be treated like a baby then I would be diapered like one. That's when the forced diapering became a disciplinary and abusive tactic. I don't recall how long that lasted (few weeks or months - unsure - but not years). This time period coincides with my poor recollection.

Then in my teens the desire to wear diapers re-emerged and was very strong. I would wear makeshift diapers using my baby blankets from childhood with a belt or underwear to keep them on. There were times that I know my parents knew about this but nothing was ever said. I should note that I always preferred to wear diapers but not use them for their intended purpose. Meaning I rarely urinate in them and never defecate. I only state this as it may indicate that the diapers are more fetish and less about regression (although elements of both are present) - if that makes sense.

I didn't let anyone know about this and really felt like I was extremely weird. The internet wasn't prevalent at the time and therefore I didn't realize there were others with similar desires. Otherwise I was a fairly normal teen - popular in school, not withdrawn, very active in sports etc. So it seemingly didn't cause issues other than internally with my questions about what my desires were and why. I went through several binge/purge cycles. One time I went so far as to take my baby blankets (that I was using as diapers) to an abandoned trestle and light them on fire. I used starter fluid and unfortunately the fire spread to a small brush fire and the fire trucks were called by someone to put it out. I tried putting it out and singed my eyelashes and eyebrows. It was very scary. I fled the scene and no one ever knew who started the fire. It was an insignificant event as it was nowhere near any property (homes etc.) but nonetheless it could have been disastrous. I explained the singed brows and eyelashes as a mistake with the stove (we had a gas stove) and my parents didn't ask any more questions. My father was a volunteer fireman in our town and there was only one (1) firehouse. I never heard anything about the fire.

I was caught by my sister and our neighbor (separate incidences) wearing makeshift diapers. My sister caught me in my room and claimed she was going to tell our parents but I never heard anything about it. My neighbor caught me outback in tall (almost hay) grass and just kind of blew it off. Her and her boyfriend grew marijuana on the second story terrace so they were pretty laid back and were never infringing on others or causing any trouble or drama. Nonetheless it was embarrassing.

Between my late teens and mid twenties I don't recall having urges and rarely recall wearing anything - makeshift or otherwise. This coincides with college and a heavy period of drinking/partying - so perhaps that's a factor. I did have a bed wetting problem after drinking heavily and passing out. It was a point of comedy within my circle of friends. Then the urges re-emerged in my mid twenties which coincides with the time that I consciously decided to stop partying and drinking heavily.

Off and on I'd wear diapers when desired. I shared this with my then fiance who was somewhat understanding. Although we later split up and certain statements were made that led me to believe that her view of me changed - albeit slightly - from seeing me in diapers. I am an otherwise very hetero-masculine person. This wasn't the reason we split but it did give me insight to her true thoughts on the subject when we did split.

Fast forward to today and as an adult I still have very strong desires to wear diapers. It's not an unhealthy life choice but I can't help but think that their are elements of my personality that are not as positive as they should be - like feelings of abandonment over issues that shouldn't rise to the level that provoke those feelings. I manage these issues well but it's taken years of mistakes and reflection (along with with pain to me and others) to understand how to validate my feelings or determine if they are the result of something other than the scenario at-hand.

Summary - diaper discipline is abuse. The long term ramifications can be very significant. I choose to be diapered as an adult (outside of my career and interaction with others beside my s/o) and therefore it seems relatively harmless. However - if given the choice I would prefer not to have these desires. In many ways I think the fact that I have these urges that are incredibly difficult to suppress (and I no longer do) that it's similar to other more destructive behaviors like addiction. Anytime you have an element that is hard to manage it is an issue.

I am diapered every night and nearly all the time outside of work and engagements with family/friends. I have a loving s/o who for the most part understands. But I absolutely would much prefer this not be a part of my life. The diapers ease anxiety (not that I suffer much from that) and are very comforting. I view diapers similar to clothing choices - we wear what makes us comfortable. However I recognize that the roots of the desire are almost certainly my childhood and perhaps the diaper discipline. Perhaps this would exist regardless as I became attached to diapers before the discipline but I'll never know for sure.

However I do know that using forced diapering as a method for behavior change is very negative for the child.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

I hope you'll follow me on:

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.

Comments for Forced Diapering For Discipline IS Child Abuse

Click here to add your own comments

Nov 08, 2010
To Anonymous:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Thank you for sharing your story and your thoughts on this controversial subject with my visitors and me. I can only hope that eventually you are able to reconcile your feelings about the effects diaper discipline has had on you.

And my apologies for the length of time it took to post this here. I've had many stories, articles, commentaries, etc in queue and I've been working on a court case as of late. My time has been very limited. It also takes a great deal of time to move comments. It's not a simple move, but rather a lot of copying and pasting, and then posting to ensure all remains intact.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Nov 21, 2010
thank you
by: Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I too was punished for bedwetting with diapers?the chronic bedwetting was for me likely a symptom of the sexual abuse I had been subjected to at that age?and it scarred and hurt me greatly. By 7 years old I had that fascination with diapers, which went on into my teen years.

Anyway, its brave to admit and talk about this, and how it can effect our lives. It is most definitely abuse to do this to a child, definitely ignorant, cruel, and disgusting. Bedwetting is never the child?s fault, and it should be treated with sensitivity and kindness.

Jan 13, 2011
@ anonymous above
by: Anonymous

Thank you for contributing. I shared this in hopes of raising awareness but also to offer insight as to how actions regarding the use of diapers on children can have long term negative consequences. Most people understand the emotional consequences. Very few people understand the logistical consequences. For example, the average person would typically perceive a an adult having a diaper fetish as a strange abnormality and perhaps even connect it with pedophilia. Rarely would people consider the potential that it is possibly related to child abuse (or poor parenting in the scenario of misguided but well meaning parents). I suppose "walk in other's shoes" applies here. Our society is ultra concerned about children's well being, and rightfully so. What makes this affliction so difficult to discuss is the potential ramifications of people misunderstanding the nature of the logistical remnants in adulthood of actions occurring during childhood. It's really difficult. I have spoken to one counselor about this and even they were apprehensive. The only people I allow to know about this (outside of anonymous conversations such as this) are those that understand innately who I am and therefore will assume the best and not the worst. They will likely not understand the issue BUT they will also not persecute me based on fear or insecurity. This is a very very limited group.

Aug 21, 2012
Forever cursed
by: Robert P. U.S.A.

I'm so glad to read that this aspect of diaper discipline is being talked about. Being degraded and humiliated is devestating to a child - true, but the long term effects can be just as damaging and far reaching. I know because I experienced it first hand and have spent my entire life struggling with it's aftermath in both my relationships and my own feelings of self worth. My sexuality has been so misdirected, I have never been able to carry on my life in what most would consider normal behavior.

I am almost 70 years old and was punished with diapers several times as a child between the age of 6 and 10 years old. I have since been uncontrollably turned onto wearing diapers for sexual gratification. I can barely respond sexually in a conventional manner and seem to require scene playing my childhood humiliations with diapers in order to enjoy sex. Understandably this has made my marriage and life extremely difficult. It took several years before I could bring myself to tell my wife about my fetishes because I was so ashamed. Even though she eventually learned to deal with it, our life has hardly been considered blissful. We could never enjoy what would be considered a normal relationship even though I went to counseling for years and really tried hard to conform. I just couldn't redirect my sexual preferences.

I'm ever so grateful she stayed with me but my addictions cost us both so much heartache and despair. Sadly, she passed away a couple of years ago after 45 years of marriage. I truly love my wife and would give up anything for her including my life but I honestly could not control this compulsive urge to repeatedly relive my childhood traumas. I still see that woman leaning over me with her hateful grin even after many years of therapy. There are so many times I have cried from despair for not having the strength to stop my addictive behavior. I wish I could go back and have her experience the humiliation and shame she put me through. I'm still haunted knowing she was never made accountable for what she did.

Sorry for dumping on all of you but I just had to respond to this post because I want everyone to know how serious this form of child abuse can effect a persons life....ENTIRE life! For me, it has already been over 60+ years so I guess I'll die with this compulsive disorder. I hope this post shows just how destructive this form of punishment truly is to a child. So much suffering under the disguise of discipline. It's not discipline, it's the destruction of a human mind, an abuse of the worst kind.

I wish I had answers as to how it could be stopped because my heart breaks just knowing other children are possibly experiencing what I did. All I can do is visit sites like this one and hope just maybe my exposing my life will stop someone from destroying a child, maybe for their entire life.

God bless you all and I pray you find the peace in your heart I never could.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Child Abuse Article - Write one.

Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.

Most Recent

  1. Feel Extreme Guilt

    Apr 25, 17 08:19 AM

    I had been repressing the guilt of playing sexual games and forcing my cousin brother to tongue kissing with me. I am 24 now but keep remembering the same

    Read More

  2. Not To Blame

    Apr 18, 17 11:04 AM

    I was in my 10th standard and like every girl, I was very conscious of the weight problem. I used to go to my Music tuitions in the evening, and once I

    Read More

  3. Bad Dreams Surfacing

    Apr 13, 17 10:32 AM

    I am having a dream about my abusive stepfather where he wants my brother and me to change his soiled diaper. He started abusing me at the age of three

    Read More

Take the quiz

Fill out my online form.
HTML Forms powered by Wufoo.
E-book: Victim To Victory

From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life