Feasibility of Online Child Abuse Support Group?

by Anonymous
(USA)

Support for those recovering from spanking abuse and fetish? 
I've been reading through some articles, specifically about the pain and humiliation endured during spankings in childhood and how this fear and humiliation in childhood sometimes develops into a fetish. I've noticed several folks commenting on this as a covert form of sexual abuse and they mention the sense of addiction - of loss at a healthy sense of sexuality.


I wonder if there is a support forum or if it would be viable to make an online support forum for people who are doing the painstaking work to understand their childhood abuse and disentangle that from adult sexuality.

I personally battle this issue much in my own life, and find that there is great support for people dealing with sexual addiction, but none that I can find that is for people trying to deal with the shame of this *particular* fetish. I think it could be very useful and de-stigmatizing—as well as informative and validating—to have such a group. The focus of the group as I see it would be to:
  • Understand the victimization and suppressed rage that exists to create this fetish.
  • Provide a forum to discuss the pain and shame openly in an attempt to take from the shame of this fetish and start to face the stark realities of abuse endured.
  • Provide tips/recovery thoughts for those wishing to live without acting on this particular addiction.
Any thoughts?

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Comments for Feasibility of Online Child Abuse Support Group?

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Nov 20, 2008
My thoughts...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Support groups can be very therapeutic, and I am all for such groups, as long as there is someone with knowledge, experience and a sense of professionalism who can act as a moderator; otherwise, such a forum can too easily stray from its intended goals. Without an experienced moderator, forums can lose focus and become a place for complaints and criticism instead of a place for healing and recovery. And with spanking fetish, the forum can even more easily become another place to post more fetishism under the pretext of "sharing personal experience", which can further fuel the fetish for those reading the posts. I've had to deal with this myself when visitors submit their stories to my site. I frequently edit out what amounts to gratuitous references that my visitors could interpret more as spanking fetish than child abuse story. And I don't post submissions that I feel were written as fetishism masquerading as child abuse stories. These would be similar issues that would have to be addressed in such a support forum.

I believe with the proper moderator, a support forum for those suffering from spanking abuse and fetish would benefit greatly. Thank you for sharing your idea here.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Nov 23, 2008
my thoughts
by: kristen

I am looking for somewhere to talk. I was physically punished as a child and even after I was married I told my husband that he should punish me and there is a lot more that I want to talk about there. I am not sure if that counts as fetish but anyway.

I have learned that I can not talk about it with people who are a part of my world now. In the past, like when I was little, talking about it to someone meant that the authorities got involved and later in life I learned that if I tried to talk about it to people, they would do things like not believe me or then avoid me or worse still tell my parents who then would punish me.

So right now I have this need to talk but just can't talk to my friends. I just know that they would freak out or avoid me or worse bring in the police. I want to keep my friends and family. I love them. I cant be alone.

So having a support group would be nice.

Just my thoughts.
kristen.

Nov 23, 2008
a good idea
by: scott

That would be a great idea,personally I dont think I would contribute.I had a hard enough time telling my story the first time.But others may want to,may do good. Really just letting it go may be the best for some.Not dwelling on it.You cant change the past.

Nov 27, 2008
debates.
by: scott

***Moved to this thread by Darlene Barriere - Webmaster***

spanking forums often turn into debates.I get to hear how some of you spank your kids.You do it this way and another person does it that way.The thing that bothers me most is how degrading it is for the child.Not only is it very,very painfull,but being nude is humiliating,and some of you think humility is part of the punishment.Like I said I don't want to turn it into a debate ,but don't you remember you beatings,Or should I use the term spankings? I do.I remember being undressed in front of 25 other children in class.If you truely remember how bad YOUR spankings were than you would'nt be subjecting you children or someone elses to it.I remember,don't you? Bend over,hold your ankles.I blush just thinking about it and how it hurt.If I ever manage to have kids I just could'nt see me performing that act on them,because I remember.

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