Exchange with Tim discusses the intervention and prevention of sexual abuse. I've reproduced excerpts here of our exchange in order to help visitors find the information they seek on this website.
Tim is a child abuse survivor and one of the story contributors on this site. He lives in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. You can read his story here.
I think one of the biggest problems in regard to prevention is parents missing the crucial warning signs that their children give, that go unnoticed due to the parents over involvement in every other aspect of life.
The child's behavior clues will warn of a problem, but only if a parent is willing to see those signs. I think most parents do see these signs but consciously, or unconsciously, ignore them because (1) they are just too busy to look into it, or (2) the thought that something this horrible is happening to their child is just to hard to except.
I my case, my parents knew something was wrong and did ask a few questions but didn't bother to look into it to the degree needed. I did not tell anyone, but secretly prayed that someone would figure it out, and looking back, truly feel that any number of adults that I was in contact with at the time should have asked the questions! Although I was unable to tell anyone, I was open about displaying the warning signs and behavior changes, hoping someone would help me. If only someone had noticed or taken the time to look into it.
Another topic that seems to be missed is the survivor guilt. Because I said nothing, my abuser went free. I know for a fact that at least 6 other young boys had their lives destroyed because I did nothing to stop him. At least one took his own life. If only I had done something! Hell of a thing to life with!
Tim, there are several pages on my site that cover the issues you pointed to in your comments regarding prevention of sexual abuse.
I tend not to direct any of the points I make on my various pages to parents, because all too often it is a parent doing the abusing. Not always, but often. I chose instead to be more generic in my references. What you are looking for is scattered throughout my site. I have my reasons for setting it up the way I have, and I have to be careful not to duplicate information, otherwise I will be penalized, even dropped by the search engines.What you referred to is intervention. My intervention page does give more information, perhaps not to the degree that you are looking for specifically, but in combination with many of my other pages, you may find what you are looking for.
I hope the information contained in these pages helps you, Tim. Heaven knows, what you've lived through definitely entitles you to all the information available.
Subsequent exchange from Tim - an excerpt:
Thank you for taking the time to reply and for all the support and information you have given me. I have read the pages that you suggested and I see that in a round about way you do address the areas I was talking about. Reading these pages does provide some insight and comfort (as strange as this may sound!) to know that I am not alone.
NOTE: Information pages on this site were based on material from the Canadian Red Cross RespectED Training Program. Written permission was obtained to use their copyrighted material on this site.
From Victim to Victory
How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life
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