Diaper Discipline: Reality vs Appearance

by Robert P.
(USA)

Note from Darlene: 
With permission from the author, this post was moved from the comments section of an Ask Darlene page titled Is diaper discipline child abuse? Diaper discipline refers to the practice of placing an older child—in many cases, an adolescent child—in diapers for disciplinary purposes.


Parents who diaper their older child as a form of discipline dabble in an extremely controversial psychology—regression therapy—that they obviously know very little about; otherwise, they would never consider, never mind employ, such an insidious practice. Regression therapy, even when administered under the care of a highly trained professional, can have serious emotional repercussions.

Robert P., the author of the article below, is a man who endured this form of emotional child abuse. He has courageously shared his own experience in his story on this site at Child abuse story from Robert P. Read on...



Didn't expect to write again, but seems there is a lot of responses trying to describe what diaper discipline really does to a child. Here is what I feel happens based on my own experience.

APPEARANCE: Calming, well behaved, obedient

REALITY: They are calm because their self-esteem has been destroyed. They behave and obey because they live in fear and insecurity. They have lost their dignity and self identity. The essence of who they are has been destroyed.

LIFE RESULTS: Withdrawn and shy, making them subject to bullying. Very often develops sexual fetishes. Hindered social and relationship skills. Strong inferiority complex. Self loathing. Lacks self confidence needed to reach full potential in life. Just about every aspect of healthy development is held back.

Diaper discipline is far more than just abuse. It is the killing of a human soul. There should be strong laws treating it as such.

My heart weeps for all the lost souls out there. Sadly, there are many.

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Jul 08, 2008
Permission appreciated...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Thank you, Robert, for allowing me to move this to a move visible location on my site. My heart, dear man, weeps for YOU.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jul 12, 2008
what can i say?
by: Anonymous

Robert you have said more then i could ever say about the subject of diaper discipline. there should be laws about it but i have not found any. the web site about diaper discipline, the people who have it know the affects it has on a child. they have links to yahoo groups and mental health. they do not say to parents. this is what it does to a child they just are interested in getting the child into diapers. its like they get a high off the stories , it does not matter to them the affect it has on a child in fact they delight in telling the children how bad they are they say they are so bad they had to be put into diapers. it just child abuse they have a frist addmendment rihgt to free speach is what i have been told. yet im still trying to find what rights the children have. i have started to reform a group to help them if they want help. the group is called the caring parents network. when we frist formed we were a group that wanted to fight child abuse . we had as children had been disciplined in ways that are now called child abuse.
ronald

Oct 29, 2008
Right Lever, not unmanageable Laws
by: FurstiGrar

Well, the Problem is that you can't say easily what's true and what's fiction on the net. While I approve the Right of Speech, this doesn?t include the Right to spread knowingly wrong content. There should be a law that fictional content must be clearly declared as such.
You have to see that it's impossible to name all forms of child Abuse in the law. This would not only bloat the law text but also narrow down the scope of prosecutable abuses. When considering law issues you always have to take in account that it takes years to get a law actually passed, but it will stay a lot longer. Life circumstances change over time and new possibilities will arise. The law must be able to adapt to such changes.

Jul 08, 2009
Totaly against
by: Anonymous

I totaly agree. I think that sexual fetish can be a good thing for some people, and its ok to do this as a sexual thing with a partner with consent if thats what your into. But useing this as an actual punishment on a child is horribal. It's abuss. I didnt even know of diaper punishment until i became an abdl and it took a while before i actualy knew of people actualy doing this to their children.
I have come across websites that are all about it. I think that the parents that do this to their children are sick and should go to hell. They should be locked up in an asylum. And its a joke if they think they are fixing their children. If you would actualy do this to your child then maybe you should be asking yourself why is my child a terror instead of how do i make him do what i want.

Aug 01, 2009
Diaper discipline is wrong and cruel
by: Anonymous

I have seen diaper discipline used on my brother for bed wetting instead of just changing the sheets and cleaning up and it be over with. Instead he was diapered and the situation blowen WAY out of proportion. No child should have to wear a diaper if they do not have a wetting or messing problem. And getting bad grades in school is not a reason to diaper your child. It's cruel. And the excuese these parents use so they can send their children to school diapered. "Oh, my son has been having alot of wetting accidents from a UTI, so he needs to be in diapers for a little while". And the school accepts that!!! Without a doctors note to back it up!!! Oh, and the one "My son needs to wear them for emotional problems". What possible emotional problem could there be for having to diaper your child? It's wrong and it's cruel.

If anyone sees a child being diaper disciplined, please call child services and report it. No child deserves this to be done to them, for anything.

-Stanley

Aug 31, 2009
Removed by webmaster
by: Anonymous

Comment removed by Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Joshua, you have advocated for child abuse in your comment. I have therefore removed it. This is a site dedicated to informing the public about the devastating effects of child abuse; and as such, I ask that you please refrain from such posts in the future.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir


Oct 03, 2009
I Hate myself...
by: Anonymous

I had diaper discipline used on me as a child for about 5 years...from age 9-14. It lasted anywhere from a week to a couple months with diapers being used when not at school.

i now have a fetish for diapers and HATE myself for it. I'm being serious here. I want this fetish to be GONE. I enjoy the sexual gratification for the moment and then i feel VERY GUILTY afterwards....I am going to try to seek therapy but am doubtful that it will help...:(

From Darlene: Thank you for your honesty, Anonymous. And just for the record, you have nothing to hate yourself for. Perhaps hate the "outcome", but never the person with the outcome. Here you are accepted exactly as you are.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir




Nov 21, 2009
Is there a problem here?
by: Anonymous

I can think of once when I was young (I was 4) tried to put a diaper/nappy on me for being bad. She only did that once (and didn't succeed, I put up a huge fight) but not long after that I wondered what it would be like to wear a diaper.

For the past 4 years is has been a hugely sexual turn-on for me (I'm now 17) and I'm a little concerned. I'm a hetrosexual male, but am I going to be able to have a 'normal' sexual relationship with a partner?

I am concerned because I don't often get turned on to the same degree by the thought of sex with a hot girl (while it feels good, not as much as diapers turn me on). And this may be obvious but I am a virgin (if that makes a difference). Never been intimate with a girl acctually.

Feb 19, 2010
I am writing to let all know!!!
by: Anonymous

From Darlene: I HAVE deleted your post, Anonymous, because you are ADVOCATING child abuse, whether you realize it or not. What you don't seem to understand is the psychological ramifications of this form of so-called discipline. I do not and will not allow comments that support this form of abuse. Period.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir


Mar 02, 2010
i feel your pain
by: mike

although i was never subject to diaper discipline. i have a diaper fetish and i feel the EXACT same things as you. i feel like my life has no purpose. hang in there man

Apr 25, 2010
Diaper punishment on children must be stopped
by: Anonymous

It is a Violation of the childs Human rights to be treated without Dignity and Love and caring any Person (I wont use the Word Parent because they are not parents but child abusers)it is abhorrant there is a case where a child has Autism and the mother is keeping the teenager in diapers even though he is able to use the toilet! because he sometimes has wetting accidents ! and goes to a specialist school but the authorities do nothing!. anyway that is another aspect of this phenomenon It makes my Blood boil as a decent parent and loving parent How these people get away with it?

Jul 01, 2010
too a T
by: Anonymous

the above description is exacatly how it is Diaper discipilne aka punishment ,torture. Scars you for life It was used on me from 9 to a little over 13 years old. Back in the early 70 when people didn't quesstion how parents disaplined thier children as much as they do now. Anyway I started haveing trouble messing my pants found out year latter it was due to a medical condition encopries don't sure i spelled that right. Mom thought it was just laziness how does a child that is potty trained just start messing thier pants. So she was going to punish me for it. I won't go into all the details but spankings , enamas, diapers and hours tied to a potty chair.
The worst part about all of it was the fact that it was done with three sisters seeing the majority of what was done and if thier friends where around they saw too. Due to that fact i was humiliated and bullied at school grades went down so i was put in a special class. I have never gotten over it and never will. Now I am strongly into diapers and humiliation its allmost a need.

Jul 20, 2010
There is a law.
by: Kenny

If a father did this to a 8 to 16 year old girl it would be rape just by the power over someone to make them pull off their clothes. If its done to a male in this society he is somehow lucky as told to him by society, other boys, men. Children are not born wired different but are treated different and thats how they get the wiring aside from genetics. You dont make a male child pull off his clothes if you wouldnt do it to a daughter too which is rape. Women fought constantly to go into mens areas for a generation for so called equal rights for jobs such as athlete interviews or jails, prisons and then they want to think that women can continue to disrespect the male human beings they raise because they were the care givers. Sheriffs ran not long ago for office on the position that they will cane the prisoners naked and they painted jails in baby colors. Old folks who may not have dementia are stripped and guarded so they dont leave (perhaps as in a friend of mines case his wife who cheated on him ( i witnessed the cheating) and divorcing him is getting him committed now after a bankrupt business and cancer (thinking someone is cheating on you is a sign of dimentia). The military intelligence assigned a mommy daddy team to walk terror suspects naked across runways and put them in diapers on the plane. People are turned on by seeing and hearing perversions or someone getting humiliated (usually naked). The romans paraded men naked to cheers from the crowd before they were killed. Jesus bore our sins.

Thoughts? I also knew a 10 and 13 year old who asked their moms to do this to them and they bragged on it and the mom. They were gorgous so I asked too. Religous repressed boys dont want to sin so this is a way out to satisy desire for beautiful female attention. How are nudist well adjusted? How are children who nurse long well adjusted and why is it a comfort?

PUNISHMENT like this is wrong as everyone wants controll of what happens to their own body. If a female wouldnt want her father doing this to her what makes a female think it is ok to punish a male like this?

Jul 20, 2010
Gentle well behaved
by: Anonymous

I agree it makes the child gentle and well behaved but I agree for the reasons others against it already gave. My fear is that in this society the dangerous people will masqurade in this group to pretend not to be a threat and then those gentle but abused people with those humiliation and diaper fetishes will be labeled ill or dangerous and then have to register as sex offenders or be committed to homes but in either case will not be allowed to be around women or children. They are more afraid than anyone afraid of them.
I visited a old folks nursing home the other day and I found grown adults who want to be babys. One woman followed me trying to get some attention and she sucked her thumb. I could tell she wanted to be treated like a baby. In the end I am told that we all will pee our selfs and wear diapers if we live long enough. Some folks want to go out as babys and feel the regression. Personally I try to tell them that we can choose how we go out and the greatest thing I ever saw was my grandfather who while dieing from a heart attack gave me the best thumb up he could muster. I felt like he was some cleon battle ready soldier from startrack. But if you are determined to go out as a baby then I dont judge or fault.

But for the record PUNISHMENT WITH DIAPERS OR NUDITY IS W R O N G. Nudity and diapers is rape when punished that way.

Sep 29, 2010
My experience pt 1
by: Anonymous

From Darlene - Webmaster: This post has been moved to a page on my child abuse articles page at: Forced Diapering For Discipline IS Child Abuse

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Sep 29, 2010
My experience - part 2
by: Anonymous

From Darlene - Webmaster: This post has been moved to a page on my child abuse articles page at: Forced Diapering For Discipline IS Child Abuse

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Sep 29, 2010
My Experience - Part 3
by: Anonymous

From Darlene - Webmaster: This post has been moved to a page on my child abuse articles page at: Forced Diapering For Discipline IS Child Abuse

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Sep 30, 2010
To Anonymous who post 3 parts:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

What wonderfully thoughtful comments you left. And you never need to apologize for putting it in 3 parts; I recognize the challenges with such limited space restrictions. I've had them myself in the past. I would like to ask your permission to post all 3 parts as an article on the site, as doing so would give the points you raise much greater exposure. You see, within the scope of comments, only those who have left comments here and opted to be notified of any additional comments provided on any particular thread (page) will get notification of such. Comments don't go live until I've read them and approved them, therefore, if agree and you would like me to opt you in for automatic notifications on comments and/or other updates to the site, by all means, include your email address in a comment to me here and I will set it up accordingly. I will of course delete it so no one else will ever see it; you can be assured of your privacy and of remaining anonymous. But if you're not comfortable with that, I certainly understand. Thank you for your consideration, Anonymous.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Oct 22, 2010
3 part post
by: Anonymous

Certainly you can use my post as you deem appropriate. I have journaled quite a bit on the subject as it's had a profound impact on my life.

Great job on this site.

All the best.

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