Child Abuser Wants to Become a Counsellor

by Chuck Eelhart
(Chilliwack, British Columbia, Canada)

Help me please! Another acquaintance of mine has done the same thing. I mean he has initially been an abuser, come clean and is apparently now ready to face his punishment. Before the sentence has even been read, he already vows that he will become a counsellor to others. Am I missing something here? Does not the fact that his personal judgment was at one time so poor that he offended, not preclude him FOR LIFE from inflicting his counsel, no matter how correct or insightful it may now be, on others??

I also have a relative who is sociopathic. He abused his wife for years. He too took counselling, but the only effect was that he learned how to manipulate every adviser into agreeing with his own absurd ever-changing diagnosis of himself. He too has declared that he would make such a fine counsellor.

Please someone help me. Is there a name for this type of behaviour? Has this phenomena been widely documented? Can I find some reference material to support my views so I can try to stop my "friend" from doing this??

Thank You

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Comments for Child Abuser Wants to Become a Counsellor

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Dec 28, 2007
You may be fighting a losing battle...
by: Darlene Barriere - webmaster

Other than sociopathic, I personally don't know of any other name for what you are referring to. Perhaps one of my visitors will be able to offer you more.

As for trying to stop your "friend," chances are it's a lost cause. If he wants to become a counsellor and 'help others benefit from his past experiences,' like it or not and no matter what we think, that's his right. UNLESS he's a convicted child molester, in which case, he would not be permitted around children; and therefore not be able to counsel them.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jan 13, 2008
by: Gabriela

This is an extremely complex situation. I know of many cases where the abuser has infact repented his actions and vowed to do right by helping victims of abuse. Your friend could have the best intensions in mind but in reality when confronted with the victims, there stories and how venerable they may be it can be very easy for him to become impaired of judgment and abuse again. In some cases not only the abuser but also the victim can be become aroused by memorize of the abuse. For some victims obviously this is involuntary and as you can image it would be very easy for some-one in your friend’s position and sate of mind to take advantage of this. I do not believe there is much you can do to stop your friend if he wants to become a counselor unless he is a convicted child abuser, but it is very unadvisable either way. Your mind can easily play tricks on you and your friend may think his cured but it is very unlikely those feelings that he had when he first abused will remain harbored if he goes onto do any kind of social work.

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