Child Abuse - Who is the Vicitm

by T. F.
(Kansas, USA)

My disabled daughter was molested and raped by a family member. We didn't find out until it had been going on for more than three years. When he was questioned, he broke down and addmitted guilt to all charges. One would think that is great but not really. Out of four charges they only plead him guilty to one and out of 30 years possable he only got 8 1/2 years. The reason I got was because he had no criminal past. Try explaining to your child that he didn't get much time because he has always been good. She said mommy he gets rewarding for hurting me because he was good!!? Yes he is being punished but I can't see the justice!!!

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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Comments for Child Abuse - Who is the Vicitm

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Mar 25, 2011
To T.F.
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I'm so sorry that your daughter was sexually abused, and that she did not get justice for what was done to her. We don't have a justice system in North America; we have a system that often re-victimizes the victim. It's not about punishing the offenders, it's about how much room there is in the prisons and how sentences for offenders can be reduced to deal with the overcrowding.

In order to deal with the IN-justice system, we have to find ways to give answers to our children that focus not on the trial outcome, but rather, the outcome of having told in the first place. Your daughter was so courageous, and as a result, the abuse has stopped. But her actions also stopped others from being abused like she was. She's a hero. And now she and you and her support system must focus on helping her to heal. And you need healing too. If you tie that healing into the justice system, you rely on external forces you have no control over to dictate yours and her progress. You can't do much about the conviction sentence. You CAN make a difference in the life of your daughter by helping her to move forward, and that means you must move forward too. I strongly recommend some form of counseling for both of you. While in counseling, you can deal with what happened, as well as what ultimately didn't happen. And if you want to effect change in the system, I suggest you write your local congress and senate representatives and tell them what you shared here. This could be the first step to becoming an activist, AND being a further advocate for your daughter. Thank you for sharing yours and your daughter's story with my visitors and me. I wish you both all the best.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Mar 25, 2011
Who Is The Victim
by: GPM

Justice is supposed to be blind- at least that is why her statue is blind-folded. But when it comes to your daughter, and others just like you, Lady Justice needs to remove the blinders and really come down hard on sex offenders who molest children. I really don't give a rat's rear end for a justice system that continues to sentence these low-life cowards who prey on little children and women less time than they give someone for stealing $50 billion dollars from people who were gulible and greedy enough to hand the scammer their money.

My heart goes out to you and your daughter. Maybe the time will come when our justice system will assess hard time in big bunches for what these cowards do to people who can't defend themselves.

But do tell your daughter her uncle is NOT a good person and has NOT been a good person, regardless of what the prosecutor and the court thought. And he will always be a bad person to people like me and those who know her story. We love her- we abhore her uncle.

Mar 26, 2011
There' s HOPE & LOVE there: I'M SPEIAL
by: maurice

The courage of your child has given hope to many: Your LOVE for each other will bring healing, bring understanding in some form to the mystery of Justice and how it is administered: Your child has been dealt a grievious wrong by the fact her abuser is almost praised for his actions rather than vilified as out and out crimininal and a child abuser: I give thanks to Darlene's great and good stewarship of her empowering site for so many of us and all her many visitors: Her comment to you is a proof she is totally human, with a womans heart: her consoling but honest words are so real: your child is intelligent and ever so special: My heart goes out to her: If possible both find some form of counselling it will help:It won't solve the mystery of any justice system that seem to reward the culprit and in this case an abuser who admitted his deviousness: Bad, bad Man:

Mar 27, 2011
by: william wallace

From Darlene - Webmaster: William, out of respect for the woman who wrote this article, especially considering the sensitive nature of her post, I felt it best that I not publish your comment in this thread. Instead, I will post it on a page of its own. However, I currently have more than 50 stories, articles and commentaries in queue as of this date; therefore, it may take 3 or so weeks for it to appear live on the site. I have no way to let you know when it does go live, but I can tell you it will be posted on my articles page at the following URL:

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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