Child Abuse - Toddler Sexual Abuse Concerns of Parents

by Anonymous
(Location Undisclosed)

Twilight Zone: 
Darlene, I have read several toddler sexual abuse concerns on your site. One common theme resonates, parental intuition is high and third party suspicion is high, yet there is an inability to stop sending children to the abuser until there is concrete evidence of who is the abuser, must report to CPS and wait!!!...

This is living the TWILIGHT ZONE for both parent and toddler!

Immediate intervention is key to healing.

Why hasn't the standard been to remove the toddler from the environment where they fear, set them up in play therapy, watch for signs of improvement and if there is do not send the toddler back?????? The toddler is innocent until proven guilty...let's take care of them and not wait on the red tape of CPS.

How does one continue to send their children in harms way without deep remorse? How many of these parental intuition cases are in fact true? The statistics for toddlers is they do not disclose until seven years of age or later of the abuser so what is the long-term sequelae (resulting pathological condition) on these children? and Finally, how could that parent not feel totally responsible for the mental and physical outcome of their child when they could have "run away" and protected the child.

This should not be a rock and a hard place for any parent, rather a clear succinct pathway to protect the child.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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Comments for Child Abuse - Toddler Sexual Abuse Concerns of Parents

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Mar 07, 2012
To Anonymous:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I am very much aware of the threads to which you refer, and I share in your frustration that so many parents feel the need to ask what they should do when they obviously have such strong reason to believe their child or grandchild is being sexually abused. Sometimes I'm completely flummoxed because the very questions they are asking have already been answered within the thread. Deep down I think they are in a form of denial, looking for someone to tell them that they have nothing to worry about so that they don't have to take action themselves. All to often they are more concerned about what an accusation may bring down on them rather than understand that when it comes to any form of child abuse, the child's safety must always come first. We have such a long way to go. People like YOU can and DO make a difference...keep up the great work! Thank you for bringing more about this issue to light with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Sep 07, 2012
Ongoing Battle
by: Beverly Morrison

I disagree with the statement that the parent is in denial. In my case, my daughter has been raped and molested by the male members of her dad's new family. There were three hotlines made by third parties on my daughters behalf which resulted in kidnappings. The court system "especially" in MO believes that no matter what is going on, father's rights prevail. The only choice i have it to follow the court order. The judge refused to acknowledge even the possibility of sexual abuse. Not to mention the fact that my ex and his wife accused all three of her older brothers of being responsible. The only problem is, its not my boys she continues to talk about. It's always "uncle s" this and my boyfriend at daddy's that. So while there are parents who refuse to protect their children, there are also the warrior mom's out there. I know my daughter is being abused. But the authorities in both states told me that until she is raped, there is nothing i can do. And simply leaving would result in a parental kidnapping charge for most protective mom's. This would result in the child being placed permanently with her perpetrator. I know this from experience. I left her dad because of abuse and moved back to ks. I had all three of my boys here. I had a network of people who had known me and my children for 16 yrs. I have survived thus far because my daughter's dad is constantly going against the court order. I do not. Sometimes i must be patient. That is how this war will be won.

Dec 17, 2012
Even disclosure is not enough
by: Anonymous

My young daughter was 3 when signs of ptsd and sexual abuse surfaced. 2 months later she told me her father hurt her. We were still together at the time, but after she came out, I got an emergency restraining order, afraid hed retaliate due to the allegations. CPS refused to care or investigate and the criminal investigation came up with nothing. I fought for my girls for 2 after the molester filed for 100% custody. My daughter disclosed to several people including social workers and family and friends.They got a GAL appointed to them, but she sided with the abuser. 4 months ago, he got full custody with me having supervised visitations for trying to protect my children, being accused of alienating/brain washing..he is a master manipulator and convinced EVERYONE I was lying and turned her against him.

As soon as he got custody, he quit his job. A few months later, he pulled my oldest out of preschool and secretly took them across the ocean, illegally, supposedly not to return until May. I wish I ran with them because maybe they at least would have had a chance.

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
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