Comments for Child Abuse Story From Wendy

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Nov 19, 2007
 Witnessing abuse IS a form of child abuse
by: Darlene Barriere - webmaster

Oh Wendy, you are not alone with your story. There are others on this site; I wish I could point you directly to those stories, but there are so many that I cannot recall which ones specifically include witnessing the abuse of a parent. Perhaps some of my visitors who have suffered the way you have suffered will comment here and offer their support and encouragement.

Witnessing abuse falls under the umbrella of emotional abuse. What you endured is often considered one of the most difficult of abusive situations to deal with. As a child, you felt complete helplessness. You were witnessing the abuse of the very person who was supposed to be able to protect you; if your mother couldn't protect herself, how could you believe that she would be able to protect YOU? Then there was the very real possibility of your mother dying at the hands of your stepfather; and then who would be there to take care of you? The fear and the terror MUST have been horrendous. Of course you'd have trouble making peace with it all.

If you haven't already, check out my types of emotional abuse page on this site for more information about emotional abuse. Witnessing will take you directly to the segment on witnessing family violence.

I strongly recommend some form of counselling to help you with the emotional residue of these horrific memories, Wendy. I know that this suggestion is nothing new. I also know that talking to a professional is the best chance you have of getting on with your life.
Nov 21, 2007
 Thank you
by: Wendy

Thank you Darlene. When I read your comments on my shortened story I cried. I know it sound silly, but it was like you validated my feelings. Everything that happened has been pushed under the rug. NO ONE talks about any of it. If we talk about it, it becomes real attitude. I have been married for nine years now and my husband doesn't even know about it all. The most I have told him is that my step dad beat my mom when I was little...end of story. Even though it is still hard to even think about what happened, you have helped. I will add my story in more detail in the story section. Again I thank you.
Nov 22, 2007
 You're welcome, Wendy
by: Darlene Barriere - webmaster

I created this site to provide child abuse information and to give a voice to child abuse survivors, a voice that many survivors have never had. When I write my comments, I do so with the intent of validating, because most survivors have always been denied both their feelings and the abuse itself. So you see, Wendy, feeling validated by my comments was not at all silly; you were supposed to feel validated—I'm honoured that you did feel that way.

I'm delighted to learn that what I wrote helped you. And I hope you will indeed submit more of your story.
Dec 04, 2010
 i know how you feel...
by: ruby

I understand how you feel completely...I went through the same thing with my dad then again with my stepdad...Its a horrible thing to go through and I think about it almost every day. For me I took it as a way to make myself stronger. I have never been in an abusive relationship becauseI know he signs and will not put up with it!. My sisters have not been so lucky. My older sister and younger sister are both into drugs and bring up the abuse we witnessed regularly. I know it affects everyone differently and I hope that you find a way to cope and move on. Thank you for bringing up this topic cause I never actually looked at it as a type of abuse but I suppose it is. I just fgured since I dealt with all the other types this was just minor... thanx again and wish you all the best

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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