Child Abuse: My Daughter Has No Rights

by NB
(New Jersey, USA)

My daughter was sexually abused by her dad. That was 5 years and many evaluations ago. The courts in Passaic County do not care about children's rights. I've been told children have no rights. The laws need to be changed. Parents of abused children need to band together and demand changes be made in the senate for children's rights. We need to protect our children! When a child has been abused they need to be heard.

My daughter's nightmare began September 2003. When she approached her dad and said to him, "You don't put your hands in my pants. You don't touch my privates." Her dad was touching her when he was watching her, when I was in the shower. I tried to help her and keep her safe. But the family courts do not recognize abuse. Instead, some of the evaluators feel sorry for him. He is not the victim; HIS DAUGHTER IS!

My daughter Mary is now 8 years old. She has been forced to see her dad through supervised visitation (his mother is supposed to be supervising). Mary's had panic attacks, trouble sleeping. She had been seeing a therapist for 2 1/2 years, in which she is now not allowed to see her. Her therapist BELIEVES MARY WAS ABUSED.

Many mistakes were made in this case because an attorney that I hired told me he knew about abuse. He lied to me. I found out he was a real estate attorney and knew nothing about abuse, and ruined the case. By then I had exhausted all my funds. My mom mortgaged her house to try to help, and in the end had to sell her house. I cannot afford another attorney to help Mary.

My heart breaks for Mary, for what she has been through. I love her very much. Children should just know happy. I'm very angry for what her dad has done to her and put her through. Telling evaluators she's crazy and that he never touched her.

The evaluator makes her see a psychiatrist to evaluate Mary. The evaluation went well for Mary. I hope there will be closure for her some day. Mary just wants him to say he's sorry, and he will not. Mary said to me, "Mommy, I'm not a liar. Why doesn't anybody believe me?" I said to Mary, "I believe you. I know you are not a liar." Her dad told her not to talk about the secret anymore. I said to her I was proud of her for being brave, for telling me the secret, and I told her it was not her fault. I divorced Mary's dad. Mary's rights have been violated.

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Comments for Child Abuse: My Daughter Has No Rights

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Sep 25, 2008
When we don't believe in the rights of a child...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I'm so very sorry the system has failed you and your daughter. Continue to be there for your daughter as an advocate, loving her and believing her. She needs that from you more than anything. Keep telling her it's not her fault. And it's not your fault, either.

Thank you for sharing yours and Mary's story here; and for bringing to light how important it is that we all consider children's rights as foremost. If we don't, we put all children at risk for abuse every day.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Sep 29, 2008
by: Anonymous

I feel that people that abuse children in any way possible should be given the death sentence.
the victims are only children, they have never hurt any body before in their lives .
they are little children........

Mar 09, 2009
My Sister Is Experiencing The Same
by: LipsLikeJesus

Your right there is not justice for these angels
that have been abused. My poos sister is experiencing the same situation that has been written. My poor little 8 yr. old niece feels
that no one believes her. She too has had many
evaluations, and even forensics done to show proof
of the sexual abuse that happened to her.
As her Aunt I am so outraged at this continuing
victimization of these children. When is justice
gonna open their blind eyes up and see that the
children are the victims!
Both my Mother and I have helped out financially the best we could. This has cause so much stress on our Mom that we are afraid of her cancer coming back.
Our biggest question is WHEN IS IT GONNA END!

Nov 10, 2009
by: Anonymous

i'm so very sorry . i'm a child...... it's not your fault never blame your self............ dont look back on the past ,but in stead look forward to the future............. stay strong girl and fight what you beleive in. <3 :)

Dec 18, 2009
Understanding mother
by: raven

I am The mother of a beautiful intelligent five year old daughter and we are going through the same fight right now. my daughter was abused by her father,because he never actually penetrated her he only touched her private parts the courts denied pressing criminal charges against him unless my daughter who was only four years old at the time would testify against him. A four year old child should not have to be so grown up or be put through the horror of a trial and testifying in front of her abuser! my daughter had no rights a child should be protected from these crimes not denied justice because or her age. The courts allowed her father to have 50/50 custody.If he has already touched her in this way what's next! She has already reached out and nothing was done to protect her from this abuse,as a mother how do you hand your child back over to someone like this! My daughter has no rights,and her voice has been silenced,ignored by the courts!As a mother I still hear my child crying out,something must be done!

Mar 10, 2010
My son.
by: Rebecca

My son has shown multiple signs of sexual abuse... DCS blocked my rights to get him into a psychologist, insisted I was lying, insisted I had MSBP then when I was able to disprove that theory they moved charges against ME to psychological trauma from doctor's visits - trying to figure out exactly what happened to my son - then gave him to dad; although he has never been in his life.

We need prayers. Sad how nobody listens to these cases - rather they are brushed off as a mother trying to make a sick accusation against the 'poor dad.'

What kind of country do we live in? No wonder people run with their children!

Apr 19, 2010
This is happening to me...
by: Rebecca

This has happened to my child. The "Psychological Abuse" caused by the sexual, mental, physical abuse by dad was turned on me - the evidence has been ignored and I was also diagnosed by a "doctor" who is a "dcs doctor" (pediatrician not a psychologist mind you) with MSBP Falsification. NOBODY has cared - outside friends and family. In the end, it is who you know, then money you have in your pocket, and what kind of attorney you can hire. Like you, attorneys have made mistakes - costing me greatly - and my money is diminishing at a rapid pace.

Our country simply accepts abuse - always has and always will. I'm so sorry your child was also ignored. I would like to have a ralley in Washington, DC.

Jun 04, 2010
by: Anonymous

My daughter is currently being forced into reunification with a man she does not know who is bio father. She will be 11 yrs old next week.
This man threatened to kill me cut her out of my stomach and kill himself. I was advised by a team of psychiatrists, the police department, and a crisis team to keep him away from the child. I did. He has 9+ felony convictions along w/many other misdemeanors but are non violent, non repetitive.?? He served me from a prison cell for custody paternity visitation etc but I thought for sure with all the evidence I have he would be shut down at the door. NOPE. My daughter has been referred to suicide prevention counselling which the state will not allow since it intereferes with the reunification process. I am blamed for her fears! She didn't even know he was a criminal until she saw an envelope from him! So she is scared but nobody cares and nobody listens to her. She has now regreseed into sucking her thumb in her sleep and nightmares along with self harming (hitting pinching and pulling her hair out). She was described as a very happy child prior to all of this. I am going bankrupt and losing everything. Currently in contempt of court as I couldn't bring myself to take her to meet him on the designated day. There is so much more sick information. I don't lie. Every affidavit filed on our case by him is a lie and it just doesn't matter. I don't know what will come of us but our lives have been destroyed. He has the backing of an evangelic extremist church and that's it. No family or friends are willing to back him and I have several people who can testify on our behalf. I am giving up as I have nothing left to fight with and going to jail will only harm her more.
This should be a crime what has been done to us and our lives. But it's not. DNA is all that matters anymore and our society as a whole will suffer from this. Our children are our future and the future is grim.
I have written and asked for help from all. But Nope. I have never been ashamed to be part of the human race but I am now.
I have looked at 3 other womens court cases and every one of them have been portrayed as "crazy" "bizarre" etc. These are the ploys used and the judges must know if it is in every case I have seen. Shame on us all for allowing this. Shame on the top (Obama, president)and all the way down from there for ignoring these attrocities done to our children.

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