Child Abuse in Foster Home

by Sherri
(North Carolina, USA)

My 4 year old was abused in foster home: 
I am a 30yr old mother of three. My children were taken from me back in april of 2009. my two youngest children have been placed in five different foster homes since then. the first home they were placed in I did not care for the foster parent, as a mom I senced there was something bad going on in her home, I reported it to DSS. They went to her house to do an investigation and they found a chair w/ straps on it. they questioned my son about the chair. He told them that she would hit him and put him in the chair so he couldn't move. Come to find out this evil woman was not prosecuted. It was just swept right under the rug. I called the DA's office and spoke to someone and still nothing was done. I think that DSS should be somewhat held liable for what happened. My son is having a lot of problems because of it. He is having outburst, he's not sleeping. when I look into his eyes all I see is sadness. two weeks ago I found a gray hair on his head. I just don't know what to do anymore. I am doing everything DSS has asked me to do and I still don't have them back. My children still cry to me telling me they want to come home.(Mommy why won't you let me come home). It just breaks my heart. Any advice that anyone can offer would really help me out.




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Comments for Child Abuse in Foster Home

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Jan 22, 2010
Sherri:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I have posted your story because it is important for people to understand that children in foster care DO often times get abused, and that Child Services often turn a blind eye to that fact. I'm so sorry that your children were put in that terrible position. I have to be upfront, Sherri: No one who visits this site can help you in any significant way, in part, because no one knows why your children were removed from the home in the first place. That has to be considered. You say you have done everything DSS has asked of you and still they will not return your children. Perhaps the approach must be to ask a judge what must be done in order to get your children back.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Jan 23, 2010
My heart goes out to you as a mother.
by: maurice

There is a solution out there for you, but it must begin with you as MOTHER. Be true to yourself answer the query Darlene put to you in her comment. Why are my children in Care? once you begin to answer that everything will work out for you and your children. If you need help/counselling for that to happen get it NOW. the sooner the better. Your children are your own flesh and blood your treasures. They need a MOTHER who really loves and rspects herself first and then give your children back their home again. Yes, abuse still happens in foster homes, I am sure you know that a large percent of foster homes are totally safe places for children who are neglected for whatever reason. So try now to put a value on the story you shared with Darlene and her visitors. I am certain the more you convince the authorities you can be a better mother than you'll have a happy home forever.

Feb 03, 2010
DSS plan and abuse in foster home
by: Anonymous

Dear Sherri,
Unfortunatly abuse does happen in many foster homes and when something like this happens the perpetrator should be punished. It is also a fact that many times when CPS becomes involved in a parents life on heresay or even fabricated stories made by caseworkers, yes that's right, just as they can turn a blind eye to the abuse of children in their custody. When your involvement with CPS is over, my suggestion would be to seek counseling for your son, actually for you and all of your children, possibly some family therapy. Do not use evaluations from or any of the providers that DFCS may have sent them or you to. Then when the time is right and your counselor agrees, begin the pursuit of having the foster parent, perpetrator arrested. Your counselor can help you when it comes to what charge/charges need to be pressed.

I agree, without knowing any more than I know I can't be of much service to you. However, if you have completed a caseplan or family preservation plan and they still won't give the children back, as you say...I can only guess two things. Either everything on your plan was not done in a timely fashion, or maybe a Dx. from your Dr., something is not up to parr with DFCS or this could be due to the Federal Adoption Incentives/bonus' monies and their plan is to adopt the children out almost as fast as the get them in. They may attempt to file a (TPR) termination of your parental rights. You must try your best to fight the TPR in court. Speaking with a judge outside of court would be almost impossible for you right now. You might be able to obtain information from the Juvenile Court Office that may help you, call them. You need to call your caseworker and just ask them to please let you know what is happening. If you don't stay up with things you might not win your appeal if needed. Others may not agree but I would record all telephone and in person interviews with DFCS, or anyone that has anything to do with this case. Have you ever thought that they may also record? Fix up a timeline from the beginning of DFCS involvement in your lives. Take Notes on everything and keep them in a safe place. Document, document, document everything. Have they ever been involved with you or your family before? The nation is the same on their "best practices" in child abuse, TPR and adoption time frames and guidelines. So you must work quickly to gather any information. evidence court documents, etc.,and please keep it together. Please note* DFCS and DFCS (cps) now work closley together in collaboratio. PLUS make sure you hold yourself together because that will be a major factor on your behalf. Hope to hear from you soon with an update.

Feb 18, 2010
As an ex-foster child
by: Amanda Silveira

At least you care about your kids. I was in and out of over 30 foster homes and many of them told me that my mom hated me and that she only wanted the boys. The boys got adopted and I was kicked out. I lost everything and everyone but it is ok I am strong now and that is all that matters. You need to tell your kids that you love them and want all of them keep saying it over and over so that they remember don't let them doubt it for a minute.

Aug 24, 2010
the truth
by: Anonymous

I am so surprised I came across this website because I am writing a PSA for my class on abuse in foster homes and this is how I came across this site. I didn't know anything like this even existed. Well I am 21 and I grew up in foster care. My mom was a major drug attict and she drank alot. When I was in foster care I was abused in more than one way and no matter what I said no one ever believed me. One of my foster moms would treat is like slaves and make us dig big wholes and carry heavy stuff. She abused us alot and at the time i didn't know that it was abuse until i ran away. Some foster homes were really bad but some were good. I was also sexually abused as well and it was a horrible experience but I have been able to over come all of that. I am now in Job Coprs and becoming a CNA and im so excited. Thats just a little of my story I wanted to share.

My mom didnt really care if she got us back or not she wanted to just be free so when you say that you are doing everything possible to get your kids back then there has to be something that is holding it back you have to do something else to show them that you are serious about getting them back into your life. Just dont give up on doing what ever they tell you to do just keep going and show you kids that you love them and want them back just stay positive...

Aug 25, 2010
One True Story helps:
by: maurice

Good on the original true story write to Darlene@s site it received a positive re-action as we see by the latest to comment to Abuse in a Foster Home: The further one goes back in the generations all forms of abuse happened behind closed doors in Institutions irrespective whether they were foster homes, reformatories, boarding schools etc: Once one was put into these places we were led to believe that these people took the place of out parents and therefore seemed to presume authority to discipline us: Abuse us etc: It is great we have a site to talk and to tell the truth about the abuse we suffered: Thank You Darlene: You sure have put many on the road to healing from their childhood and adolescent abuse:

Sep 18, 2010
Report to law enforcement
by: Anonymous

Taking your story at face value - putting a child in a chair with straps and hitting him is absolutely illegal, violates the child's personal rights and is child abuse. Aside from reporting to CPS, you should call the police to make a report, talk to your's and your child's court appointed attorney. Do bring it up at your next court hearing and document everything your child tells you and everyone you report the allegation to. Keep reporting until someone listens.

Oct 20, 2010
My life in foster care!
by: Chancey 12 years old

Hi there when I was in foster care - last year -
My foster mom let her kids hit me punch me slap me kick, pinch you name it they would do but when I tried to defend myself she would yell at me, it wasn't fair 3-1 notfair I have scars on my neck,legs, and arms buri do miss them I just wish they didnt hurt me

Oct 30, 2010
oringinal story of telling helps another to share:
by: maurice

Look at the good your did by telling Darlene and her many visitors about your four year old son: It must be still happening with the latest comment: That 12 year old is going through pain because what the natiral children are allowed do: Some people in authority have alot to answer in not vetting Foster Families properly: I hope the latest child will have the courage to tell someone who will help her: She is abused while supposely being put in as safe home from Abuse: It's a contradiction: Thank you and Darlene for making us aware that Foster Homes ain't all the are expected to be:

Nov 24, 2010
my daughter
by: latonya

i was 16 in states custody when i had my daughter.the state convenced me the she would get a wonderful home and that i wud beable to live my life.well 16 byrs later i fould her on myspace looking for me not odd at all kids do look so i answered her plee.i found that yes she was adopted 2 yrs after i let her go and then when she was 9 she was let go because she decided not to keep her mouth shut about sex abuse.placed in foster homes of abuse and sex abuse. she is now 17 soon to be 18 and on her way to me.i am a mom of 3 other girls and 1 step daughter no abuse no sex abuse i was a mother 3 yrs after i had her. they said i was not a good mom but i have 4 wonderful girls who are in school loven life.now i have to help my daughter who has endured abuse.

Dec 07, 2010
life in foster care hell
by: kiki.minaj

i understand how it feels for your child to be in foster care i am 18 yrs old i been in foster care since i was 14.my mother on druqs father was never there to help out in the house i basically killed my mother by feeding her addiction.i hate beinq in foster care i qet beat almost everyday even thou iam qrown.i have to do thinqs aqaisnt my will.iam qay and i have a qirlfriend that loves me to death but beinq in foster care as made my life a livinq hell

Dec 14, 2010
let's be real
by: Anonymous

although your story is "touching" why were they removed in the first place? Three children taken away from their mother doesn't come easy. Your child's behavioral problems may also be from your parenting, or lack thereof. I don't think that it's fair, although common, for parents to blame DSS for their children being taken away. If this foster parent was in fact abusive, she will pay the price. But your children would not have been put in that situation had they not been taken away from you in the first place.

Just my thoughts!
Be a good parent...your kids deserve it!

Jan 13, 2011
fight
by: Anonymous

The dss is a scam in my eyes. I to also had my chil taken from me. she was only a year an 3 months. I got her back a year later. When she was taken she had just gotten her ears pierced, one visit I noticed that one of her earrings was a cheap stud. I said something about how it could get infected cause the earring was not baby metal safe. They said they would look into it. 3 months later after me having to clean the rust an scabs from it she came to a visit and I checked it and the hole was black. I called my boyfrien and told him to go get some new earrings for her that were safe for her. when he arrived, They told us that we ha to call dss cause we were not allowed to giver her gifts at visits. They allowed us to change the earrings. I kept the earring that was in her ear for proof for or next court date. It took 3 weeks for the foster mother to even notice that she had new earrings. I hired a lawyer and talked to him about this. The foster parents also were teaching her to call me by name not by mom. When we went to court dss said that it was my fault cause I should have acted sooner if i was so concerned. the judge looked at the earring and ruled in my favor. I had to and still am fighting with the dss cause they are watching me,they want my child to sell her off. I sued the dss for pain and suffering out of the county which you can do and won.Get a lawyer dont stop fighting. Then when there home and dss is out of your life MOVE!

Jan 13, 2011
Let's be Real: Let's be real there is always a reason
by: maurice

The care in foster homes is so improved since my time in an istitution that one maybe almost certain children separated from their parents/guardians and placed in the care of foster homes in almost 70% of situtaions I am aware of a genuinely there for a real reason: parents/guardians neglect and most od know these days that many children are still born into unreal family or birthing invironments: The number of childre born to addicts (drug) inevitably will end up being loved and cherished by genuine vetted care home people in foster homes The child is safe: Anonymous comment of Decemeber 2010 certainly makes a real observation whose sentiments I fully support: She ends beautifully: Just my thoughts: Be agood Parent your kids deserve it: Good message for us all as we begin another new year Thank You Anonymous

Mar 09, 2011
Food for thought.
by: Anonymous

I am in foster care because my own mother was abusive. I see that you have had problems with the way your children were treated while in foster care, and after reading your story, my heart breaks for you and your children But, why were your children taken from you in the first place. There must have been some falacy on your part.

Mar 10, 2011
Dear Sheri,
by: Anonymous

I feel for you, but I must say, your children would not have been abused in a foster home if you had not done something to get them removed from your home in the first place. I'm a foster child myself, and I have lived in foster homes where the foster parents were not appropriate in there ways of parenting, but no matter what anyone says, I would not have been in that situation if my mother had not done wrong in the beginning. Now I don't know if it is for the sake of privacy, or the shear embarassment of the fact, but I see you neglected to inform us of why your children were removed from your custody in the first place. I do not make judgments to insult anyone, I merely came across this site because I am doing a term paper about the foster care system, but I feel that it is crucial for you to realize you have to take responsibility for your actions. I know I do not know you personally, therefore I cannot judge you. These are just my opinions.

Mar 11, 2011
Time to own up
by: Anonymous

I was removed from my mother's custody when I was 10. Since then, I have been in a few foster homes where the parents were not appropriate in their ways of parenting. But, I would not have been in that situation if my mother had not done wrong. You need to see that you have to take responsibility for your actions. If you did nothing wrong, why did your children get removed from your custody in the first place? I see you neglected to mention the reason your children were taken from you. Now, I don't know if you didn't say for the sake of privacy, or because of shear embarassment. I feel for your children, and I am in no way condoning what the foster parents did to them, but you must see that you can be held accountable as well. I'm not trying to insult you. I'm simply sharing my opinion, as a foster child myself.

Jun 01, 2011
It shouldnt have happend.
by: -LilMiSSReqqie.

I myself am in foster care and the house im in now is abusive and i;m trying to get out of it, yes i am 18, but they don't want to let me out of the system, but the other night i was attacked by the foster parents friend and the foster parent did nothing but stand there and laugh and point then my little sister even jumped on top of me, they have everybody against me, telling everyone lies about me and telling false stories, and my caseworker said since she is not there to witness what happens then there is nothing she can do. I even took pictures of the cuts and bruises, and my back and neck are badly bruised on the inside, but i'm stuck here with no way out. Your son should not have had to go through that at all. I feel for him and you, and im praying for you both.

Jun 08, 2011
CALL THE POLICE
by: Anonymous

All of the minors that are posting on this site that are currently being abused need to report it to the police ASAP. Abuse is NEVER okay and you should not be living in an abusive home whether it be with your own family or foster care system.

Please get help and call the police. It can save your life and the lives of others.

Jun 09, 2011
real help for real people especially for those abused
by: maurice

I sincerely hope that all who have shared their story with Darlene and received her loving heart feeling words of support and affirmation with the advice to get some form of counselling are in a better place today because of it: What truly goes on behind closed doors is serious abuse: The effecs of samne linger on and on so getting help is important from professional people: I have just read in my morning paper of the abuse that went on in a nursing home: So what literally goes on behind closed doors is truly inhuman: Foster homes: Boardng schools: Institutions have alot to answer for in their treatment of real and beautiful innocent vunerable children: Teens: and adolecents: Now I can add the aged and the elderly: Shocking is the word: Great Us all had Darlene's site to share our true story and receieve her woman's heart appeal to get some form of counselling and be safe to stay safe: I hope your son is in a much better place then when you first wrote here on Darlene's safe have site: Much Thanks Darlene and all who have left comments: Most helpful one and all as we share our empathy with one another:

Dec 02, 2011
take charge!
by: bree ninis

hello, i am a former foster child. i went into foster care in 7th grade and i was in there for 2 and a half years. My mom got us back by switching to different service or agency.. i think you should do this. get a different person to run your case. If nobody has done anything about this abuse, you need to change agencies.. this worked for my mom, so if you choose to do so, i hope it works.

Feb 23, 2012
Im doing a foster child home abuse project and this really caught my attention
by: Anonymous

Im doing a project on Child home abuse in foster homes. I am a 16 year old and this really caught my attention how people put children in homes that are worse each time. The children that they put in foster home deserve a better life. They shouldn't be treated like that well no one ever should. I hope you guys can give me some topics to talk about. Because this really need to end NOW! Little children, teenagers, special ed kids should NEVER be treated like this. This really needs to end now.

Apr 26, 2012
Prayers
by: Anonymous

It's hard to imagine such horrors happening in the world at all, let alone in a place of such privilege like the USA. It sickens me, the extent to which we continue to harm one another in ever more depraved ways. I will pray ardently for your son.

May 23, 2012
Worried Grandmother
by: Anonymous

I am a proud Grandmother, I have 7 Grandchildren total. My Son has sole custody of his 2 small boys. The Mother is abusive and does not want them. My son has been going through Hell. trying to work, pays a babysitter more then he makes, staying with a friend that is a jerk to him. and cant go back to his hometown where his and the boys live would be so much better because the mother tells the court she wants to be by her children so they wont let him leave with them. so my son i guess got sooo frustrated and the 5 yr old was beeing outrageous and he reached and smacked him in the face and it left a mark and it is the 1st time this ever happened and i know cause they lived with me almost their whole lives. The boys are 3 and 5. and they got taken from him this past friday. and we are so upset about this. the social worker said any of us family can call her anytime to check on th boys, and for 3 days we have all been calling and leaving messages. and she does not return our calls, i know the boys were put in a foster home and i have heard so much about foster homes that i am soo scared for my Grandson's and they don't know what is going on. and we had a Birthday party planned out for the oldest one for this sat. his BDay is thurs. I don't know what to do.

Nov 09, 2012
My Daughter
by: Brandy Hansen

The Department of Human Services took my youngest daughter away from me when she was 5 years old and this was 3 years ago. I had just moved from the west coast to the Midwest. I made a mistake and used drugs for a few days for the first time in my life. My so-called friend got angry with me and made a report to CPS. A worker came to my home and asked me if I would test dirty or clean. Since that was my first time using drugs I had no idea if it would be in my system. I was upfront with the worker and I told her I have used drugs.

The worker placed my daughter in my sisters care while I fought to get her back. CPS told me I had one year to complete everything.

I was doing everything they wanted me to do. Went to parent classes, treatment and I also had a full time job working nights. Within a few months my daughter was playing with her cousin who is the same age as her. She fell off the bed and her cousin playing around jump on her leg and broke it. CPS tried saying it was my sister and brother-in-laws fault and they took her out of there care. My daughter was placed in many foster homes. 6 months after she were taking from me CPS filed to terminate my parental rights and her fathers who lived in a different state. Her father told me he called the case worker every other day and would leave messages. The worker never returned his calls. Family court termainated my parental right and made it a closed adopting case. Their reasons was my job, (I worked nights) I had been looking for a different job, and my apartment. It was a studio. (I was also looking for a bigger place) My question is how can I get my daughter back even though family court had terminated my rights?

I miss my daughter everyday and all I want is her in my life. I am worried about her being sent from one home to another and I worry about her being abused in any way.

Jul 14, 2013
DSF is a monster!
by: Anonymous

We should unite and take this to the streets and let them know that DSF or the FOSTERHOMES are rapers, monters, worst then childabusers.

Who then can help this mothers or parents in this situation.?????

Oct 28, 2014
children screaming to be heard
by: clare wakeman

in the walsall foster system there are children been mistreated and all the foster parents are getting is a slap on the hand

Oct 28, 2014
fighting for childrens rights
by: clare wakeman

im fighting for children who are in the systems and i will be getting the truth out

Oct 28, 2014
childrens human rights
by: clare wakeman

i will help anyone i can iv learnt so much to fight all through my life and iv learnt to help others

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