Child Abuse Ignored

by Ed
(British Columbia, Canada)

I am a father of two young boys - i live everyday with regret and anger - their mother was abused from age 6 to 14 by a stepfather - she revealed this to me several years ago - and i have watched her life go down ever since.

We went to the police and nothing materialized - She is no longer in our lives and i have watched her become a drug addict and thief - to the point of arrest - i am at my wits end and the guilt is slowly killing me inside. I live in fear that i havent done enough.

I have attacked the indivdual online - Facebook - i have contacted police - but have been told - she has to report it.

I am worried that i havent done enough - i cant sleep and am having difficulties with everyday life - Why do i feel this - i didnt do anything wrong - but i havent done anything right either. Where can i get help - for her - for me and for my children.

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Comments for Child Abuse Ignored

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Jan 11, 2010
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You are a loving and caring father and husband. I understand your concern, especially with regard to your children and how they cannot have a good relationship with their mother because of the destructive way she is coping with historical child abuse. Sadly, the authorities are right. There is nothing you can do because your wife is an adult, and therefore has the right to do or not do anything about what happened to her as a child. It would be different if she were still a child. I wish I could be more helpful. But the best you can do is to be a soft place for your children, and never degrade their mother (not that you have). Thank you for sharing yours and your wife's story with my visitors and me. I wish you, your children and your wife all the best.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Jan 12, 2010
YOU are a GOOD MAN. YOU are a good FATHER
by: maurice

Oh my heart goes out to you and your two children. Your doing your very best to amke a sense of the effects abuse is having on your lovely and good wife and mother. Darlene is the one to heed in her comments to you. She truly feels your difficulties od thrying to understand your wife, (adult) Love will be the winner she will realise hopefully sooner than later you love her, you care about her, for the sake of your two boys. She will hopefully realize she owes it to her beautiful children to seek and get help with you helping he. Thank you for sharing your feelings with Darlene and her visitors. There is help out there, don't give up, don't quit believeing in yoursefl and in your good wife too still living with the effects of what that B of a step-father did to her. Be striong, stay strong for yourself and your BOYS. Talk to a counsellor yourself telling your feelings. You need to love yourself too.

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