Child Abuse: Help the Abused by Asking What They Needed

by Lisa J.
(San Angelo, Texas, USA)

I have been reading a lot of things about child abuse, as I was severely abused myself as a child. I was so badly abused that my health physically and mentally will always be affected.

I am grown and have 6 kids. I never abused one of them. As I once told a counselor when asked, "Why don't You abuse your kids?" I replied: "Because I did not like it; why would my kids?" This counselor was amazed at my answer, and said what I had discovered was something Doctors had not yet figured out. Then I wondered, how on God's green earth is anyone to know how to help?

We need to find people who have been through this abuse and ask them how they would have liked to be helped and take that into consideration and start from there. Give the Abuser's a little time in jail. They may come out feeling a little different.

If we do nothing, aren't we saying the kid's aren't worth it? I know when my abuse was over that is how I felt: worthless.

To this day My self esteem will never be up where it should be. I am scared to death of everything. I hate being alone. I hate most that I will always fear my mother. I will never feel totally loved and fulfilled.

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Oct 21, 2008
Your idea for prevention...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Thank you, Lisa, for your thought-provoking article.

As for your personal situation of always feeling scared, especially of your mother, and of feeling worthless...these are your thoughts. Consider and ponder that for a moment...the abuse you endured is over. You are a grown woman who has raised 6 children without inflicting abuse. What's left are your thoughts about what happened to you. Your self-esteem and fearfulness is completely and utterly tied into those thoughts. But if you question those thoughts, then turn them around, you might be pleasantly surprised at the liberating results. Byron Katie wrote a book titled Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life. Her approach is to do exactly what I just suggested. Pick up a copy of that book and give it a try, Lisa. The only thing you have to lose are your negative thoughts; and you are certainly worth it! Consider it your first true act of self-love.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
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