Child Abuse Effects Linger

by Maurice

The Effects of being abused linger on within each one of us: 
Since the horrific Ryan Report in institutions and schools supervised by Religious Sisters, Brothers, and Priests here in Ireland I have been feeling the effects and scars of my abuse as a child in such places. Thankfully, I have moved on and made a great sense of it all on me. But a report like this takes one back to those awful days. While I have erased most of the effects, nevertheless I have realized that once abused as an innocent child/teenager/adolescent by whoever is lasting.

Great I can and have talked it through with people who love me. They being there for me now even just to listen to me is a great support. I have worked through loads of stuff, the after effects for me of the abuse. Thankfully, with the support of a professional I have been able to let go of a lot of hang ups around it all. It was not easy, and I still have to work at letting go each time it surfaces.

It was a tough week reading and hearing of the horrific abuse done to innocent children. When one's innocence is taken from one by such uncaring self gratification adults in whatever form of abuse, one suffers internally a lot from it.

Having seen the advantage of professional and true friends' help who listened to me, I know the importance of it on all the people who have been abused. I could not have reached the high level of self worth/esteem, body beautiful image of me which makes me feel all powerful and all loving of myself and others who have been put through abuse.

These are my gut feelings today and for the past week. I hope it will be of some help to the many visitors to Darlene's site. There is life after being abused. But one has to work at it constantly. Letting go of it is a must. I feel a lot of the people who are now making statements from the point of whose FAULT was IT? are only giving lip service. They really don't feel the real feelings of you and me or empathise with you and me who were abused.

A Video Reading by Darlene BarriereNote from Darlene: The volume of contributor submissions has now made it impossible for me to comment personally (especially in great detail) on each and every contribution. If I haven't left you a comment or one that is in-depth, please do not take my lack of a personal response as a slight, or as a statement that your story is somehow unworthy of my time. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, could be further from the truth. If there was a way for me to respond to all of you at length, I would.

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited, and could result in being banned from making further comments on this site.

Comments for Child Abuse Effects Linger

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Jun 11, 2009
The "blame game"...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Maurice, every day I read more and more about the fallout from this Ryan Report of institutional child abuse. And every day I think about you, and what you (and so many others) were forced to endure at the hands of such deranged people. Every day I wonder what news article will come forth to further remind you of what you had to live through all those years ago. It does not surprise me that the focus is on blame and finger pointing rather than on where it needs to be: the victims, the lingering effects on those victims, and how they need help today.

If the focus must be on blame, then it should be with the intent of ensuring that what happened in the past will not ever happen again. That would require the parties who were complicit to step up and admit their role; and then work toward redress for the survivors. Let us hope that the public outcry and demands bring forth what is required for these child abuse survivors and your nation to really begin to heal.

If you haven't already read it, I posted an article today about the Ryan Report. Although I doubt any of it is news to you, I thought I'd point you to the URL: Child Abuse by Religious Orders in Ireland

Thank you, Maurice, for sharing even more of yourself with my visitors and me. Your willingness to share your story and your process of healing is truly an inspiration.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

May 02, 2011
The past month has proved this to me
by: maurice

I have found my own way to let go of the thoughts of the effects which survice from time to time: In the past month I have shared deeply with two childhood school friends: One from my home place in rural Ireland whose Father abused her with his belt beating on her bare bottom into her late teens: embarrassing her and humiliating her each time he told her to go to her room for a beating: she told me while she has lived a good life with her husband rearing two lovely girls herself: who are now happily married and loving: still she told the going to room to undress for a beating still haunts her: so the effects of abuse linger on underneath and undercover even though she did receieve counselling from time to time: The other was a boy who was beaten on his bare bottom by the same Dean of Discipline as myself: (pervert) we both drew the same conclusion: he has had counselling too but the thought of being naked and beaten as an adolecent maturing surfice's from time to time and he drinks heavily for a period until he talks to a friend or someone who puts it all in perspective again; He is single and works hard to keep himself busy: he feels he is bi-sexual and has to control his fancy or fetish for bottoms: Sad: listening to both of them I encouraged them to stay in some form of counselling and to have one or two friends to share their feelings with: letting go as soon as possible is the answer when memories of the effects surfice: I am lucky to have real friends in my life: Maurice

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.

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