Child Abuse and Healing

by An Admirir - Theresa B

I just wanted to commend you Darlene for all the hard work you've done to help people on your site. I am a survivor of child sexual abuse, but I don't know how to heal. You are a very strong woman and an inspiration! I just pray that one day that I'll be able to heal enough to help others. I believe you can help others from your own bad experiences. It's nice to know that there are survivors who can help other people. I hope I could be that person one day. Keep up the good work! A very grateful woman.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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Comments for Child Abuse and Healing

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Jun 08, 2011
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Firstly, thank you for your kind and encouraging words. I'm honoured that you view me in this way. Secondly, healing and recovery is a journey that is different for each survivor. I personally chose to seek out therapy. Realize that not all therapists are created equally. We don't get to see what their grades are when we view their certificates on the walls of their offices, so we must look to other methods. If you choose therapy, consider trust to be the most important factor in selecting someone to work with. If you don't trust your therapist or counsellor, then progress will not be made. I trusted my therapist because he proved himself trustworthy, but also because I felt comfortable with him right from the start. But I also trusted in the fact that I needed help to deal with the repercussions of what I endured, even though I bucked the thought initially. I had to be honest with myself that I was incapable of healing alone. I also went into therapy realizing that it would be hard work and I was open to the process. Though I had barriers up to protect what I was hiding (shame and guilt, unfounded, but present just the same), my therapist was able to employ methods that helped to tear down those barriers. He also taught me tools and resources that would help me as I moved through my life. As the years have gone by, I've resorted to self-help books that promote healing modalities that weren't around when I was younger. The Work of Byron Katie is one I advocate. Same as Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping. But both books require an open mind. If you start reading, but instead of actually doing the work associated with the concepts you run the risk of misinterpreting the process and labelling it denial. Neither approach is anything at all like denial. It's about challenging the way you think, and then reversing your thoughts; in other words, shining a different light of understanding on what you think in a kind and loving way. Today, I'm a very spiritual person. Not in the religious sense, but in the sense that I believe I am a spiritual being here to have a human experience. I cannot change what happened to me in an experience, but I most certainly can choose how I'm going to respond to each and every one of those experiences, good and bad. When I realized this latter fact, everything fell into place for me. Perhaps the same can happen for you, Theresa. I wish you all the best in your healing and recovery.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Jun 09, 2011
THANK YOU: You are truly a very special person
by: maurice

Theresa firstly thank you for sharing your thoughts and heart feelings: Darlene sure speaks from her heart to one and all: Reading her comment to you in graciousness and in gratefulness she truly speaks to the heart from a distance in all her comments: A Special Gift especially when she is sharing her careful thought out words to each person who share's here on her safe haven site: She said one thing well actually two that touched my heart in reply to your thankfulness of her site: I am certain her comment will begin to work for you just be patient and choose what you know to be the best way forward for you: I am a spiritual being to have a human experience here on earth: Deep but equally deeply true in context without connecting with any religious connotations just expressing her true self: Then equally she said I choose the way forward for me out of my abuse: Therapy was my choice and I trusted my therapist: I also liked which I have never done to have an idea of the level of qualification in therapy/counselling either have: That sure: I know for myself I have a level that just encourages me to listen and then move the person on to the more qualified an expertise to help: Darlene you know my deep appreciation and respect for you and your site: Much Thanks: Theresa thank you for opening up Darlene's woman's heart that bit more for the benefit hopefully of yourself and then her many visitors

Jun 09, 2011
Child Abuse and Healing
by: Anonymous

Thank you Darlene and Maurice for writing back. I will take your advise. God Bless!!!!

Jun 09, 2011
by: michelle f

I feel that you need to forgive yourself first IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT,any abuse that is handed out is the abusers fault,for they can't control theirselves for whatever reason,(and some choose not to)true some of us were victims of abuse then we pass it on I think if we can try to stop the cycle of our abuse, abuse will stop, thank you darlene for this site for anyone that is abused can talk about it here and that is the main thing TELL,TELL,TELL,have to talk about it or it will eat you up inside out.We have to move on I know it is hard but it is our chose to stay in this moment or to forgive and live

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.

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