Child Abuse - A Part of the System

by Donna F
(Montana, USA)

My own daughter abuses her daughter, my granddaughter. When my daughter chose to pursue her career as a psychologist she couldn't afford it. She got student loans and I was her free babysitter, paid my own gas (14 miles a day) and many times buying food and other things and borrowing the family money. I was with my granddaughter (6 to 8 hours a day) until she was in 2nd grade and then she was cut to sleepovers once or twice a month, grocery shopping trip once or twice a month 2 to 4 hours that day, and a Wednesday trip to the dollar store every week spending two dollars and having that personal time to share for about 30 minutes.

This lasted about 6months to a year then was dropped down to the dollar store once a week and the grocery trip twice a month maybe for one hour and I could no longer buy her anything. Soon it was only the dollar store.

In about two months I was told her brother, 4 years older than her, was hurt and that he felt left out that he couldn't go with us to the dollar store so we had to take him or not go. My granddaughter was very hurt because it was the only time we had left to ourselves.

Her brothers were always treated very well with respect she was not. She was called an explosive child and labeled ADD. The only time she had problems was when her mother ridiculed her, backed her into a corner and pushed her buttons and she had no place to go but explode.

Once she was so frustrated she unleashed and her mother threw her down on the floor and got her into a compromising position and told her husband to video tape it then told their long time friend guests to come and watch!! Later my granddaughter shared with me that she was so humiliated and ashamed. This is how they always treated her. She was about nine here.

I wasn't allowed around my granddaughter much at this time. For personal reasons what my daughter did to me and my husband to ruin us to keep us from my granddaughter because we supported her and tried to help her but couldn't get anyone to listen to us.

Once my daughter and granddaughter were driving home and arguing. My daughter stopped the car and pulled my granddaughter out of the car. This happened when she was 10. Her mother told her her she hoped she could find her way home. It was 10 pm, dark, strange surroundings and over a mile from her home. Her mother got in the car and left her. My granddaughter knew a friend in the area so she went there and called me and I went and got her and brought her to my house. Her parents called and wanted to talk to her and I told them they had to promise not to punish her. They called the police. They came to the door and the parents took her and the dad hollered at me that she was "playing me". That was their excuse for bad parenting. The policeman stayed and threatened me with all the things that could happen to me for interfering with parents discipline, including prison.
He said at nine years old my granddaughter was old enough to find her way home that it happens all the time???

The next day I went to the police station and talked to a Sargent there and told him everything including what that policeman said and he said that policeman didn't have his facts straight and he didn't know where he got his information but what happened was "Child Endangerment". It didn't matter WHO you were it was against the law but he wasn't the officer on sight so he couldn't do anything.

There are so many more incidents!!

I have called the child abuse hot line and because of the position she holds working with Social Service, Abused Children, Youth Counselor for the High School, Runaway Center and the Police Dept, and when they deal with her they side with her and I get abused.

There is no way I can protect my granddaughter from the physical, emotional and mental abuse she is suffering. She is 12 now and now she is totally isolated from the outside. I still fight on for her. I don't know where to go next but I'm not giving up. Yes, I have talked to our Pastor.

Donna F

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Comments for Child Abuse - A Part of the System

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Mar 30, 2011
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I suggest you escalate the complaint further up the chain of command. Start with a supervisor at Child Protective Services. State to them that if they choose to ignore the report(s) as a result of your daughter's position or status within the industry that you will take it further up the ladder. Go to your state representative and detail what has happened so far, including what the police officer told you about the repercussions of interfering with a parent's discipline and that your granddaughter was old enough to walk home at 10 pm. Detail everything. If you don't get results, then consider going to the media with what you know and what you suspect. I wish you and your granddaughter all the best. She certainly has a strong advocate in you. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Mar 30, 2011
Donna F.
by: GPM

If you can document and substantiate your claims of child abuse/neglect of your grandaughter by your daughter, and she holds some form of health care provider certification, she is in an ethics violation situation. I don't care wether she is an illiterate or a PHD, she cannot "abandon" a nine year old child on the streets at 10:00 pm at night to fend for herself.

As far the police officer who was the first responder, he needs to have his law enforcement certification pulled immediately before he gets some child killed. (It's a good bet your daughter pulled her government rank job when they called the police- another reason she should face ethics charges).

Document it, file ethics complaints against their certifications, to heck with the fallout. Your granddaughter is the prime point of importance now.

Apr 03, 2011
video taped?
by: My Two Cents

I'm not really following the "got her in a compromising position" part of the video tape. But whatever was videoed, it's evidence, too, right? Does it still exist? Or can child welfare interview the family friend who saw it? If you're talking about child porn then making, producing, and showing it was all a criminal act and should result in penalties to the child's parents.

Everything else said is sound and I hope it helps you to help granddaughter. She deserves to be treated respect, dignity, and love!

Be well.

My Two Cents.

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