Child Abuse - A Mother's Denial

by MeMe
(USA)

For Spite or Selfishness? 
My 29 yr. old daughter has had much problem 'keeping a man' in her life. For the most part, she has a nasty, short-tempered attitude, yet she blames me for her shortcomings. Trust me, I have bent over backwards, and then some, for her, all of her life. She grew up without her father; she acknowledges that resents me for that. A year ago, she being a bartender, she met a (lying, cheating) married man on one of her barstools and proceeded to move him immediately into her home with her child, my 3 yr. old granddaughter. He constantly cheated on my daughter with his wife & also tried to seduce my daughter's friend, at a house-party, at my daughter's home. He moved in & out twice in a 7 month period, once by her decision, once by his. Within the very first 2 months, the child was bed-wetting, touching herself with tubby-toys & crying when she had to go home with Mom & boyfriend. My daughter allowed him to babysit her child within the first 2 months of even knowing him. (She told me "he wanted to"; Holy Nelly!) At the end of the 5th month of his living there, my granddaughter, then age 3 and a half, told me of 'sex-play' (grooming) with him; she was also intrigued with the word 'sex'. When I nervously told my daughter of this, she became enraged, telling me that "if I got Child Protective Services involved, I'd never see (the child) again". She then said "he couldn't possibly do anything to hurt her, he loves her and she loves him". (Holy Nelly!) She then said "she needs a father-figure". She then said "Mom, she's 3, all 3 year olds make up stories". She then said "she's a f...ing brat when she's around you". She then said that I "made it all up (because she insists I hate men)". My daughter proceeded to manipulate her daughter into saying nothing more to a CPS interviewer than "I love (boyfriend), he's nice to me"; 'he don't hurt me". Case Closed/Unfounded! Holy Nelly again! My grandbaby just turned 4; I have only seen her for 20 minutes in the last 6 months. At that point, she was underweight & her eyes were extremely sunken; I worry every second about her in that type of situation. We are in Family Court, a very slow process; I'm seeking Visitation, my daughter is seeking an Order of Protection against me. I promised my grandbaby I'd help her; all I did was hand her back to the wolves. Someone help me!