Child Abuse - A Family That Refuses to See the Truth

by Teresa K
(Canada)

Why do other family members not want to admit what happened? Why do they cover it up and pretend that it wasn't so?

I came to terms with my fathers sexual abuse a long time ago. Other family members haven't. I bite my tongue at times, I don't want to say anything for fear of upseting thoes who may not even remeber how bad it was. What do I do? I try to say nothing? But it makes me sick when my sister, on her fifth or sixth glass of scotch - goes on about what a happy home we had and what a great father he was. Bu%$$%@@. I don't know where this version of reality comes from!




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Comments for Child Abuse - A Family That Refuses to See the Truth

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Feb 25, 2011
Teresa:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

No number of answers will ever be enough, because there are no good answers to your questions. Fact is, family members aren't willing to challenge what they believe because it tears at the fabric of what they want to believe. And they do so at the expense of the victims, often times standing up to protect the abusers instead of protecting the children who cannot protect themselves. This is a serious and pervasive problem, one that must be addressed and overcome if there is any hope of preventing further abuse from happening in families. As for your sister, she's obviously very troubled. It's not uncommon for victims to replace trauma with what is preferable. But there's nothing you can do about your sister and what she tries to pass off as your childhoods. The only thing you control is how you respond to anything in your life. Thank you for sharing with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Feb 25, 2011
Child Abuse- A Family That Refuses to See the Truth
by: Anonymous

Denial is the biggest ally of any form of abuse. It mask the nasty side of life for those who don't want to see the reality of painful experiences- the destructive nature an evil thing. I call it "burying the head in the sand- if I can't see it- it must not exist".

But it does exist- and it continues in those who abuse drugs and alcohol to escape the truth. They are mistakingly assuming they have a cure for what ails them in using the wrong form of chemotherapy. Inwardly, they are miserable for having to bottle up their embarrassment for the so-called loved one. That's no excuse though. It is a family issue, it needs to be addressed by the family, and the entire family needs to work on being made whole.


Feb 26, 2011
I grew up in an istitution: I accepted alot in innocence
by: maurice

being an only child of a single mom I grew up with another family whose father used the belt alot on his daughters and his only son: once and once only on me: only one of the girls will say it was abuse the others are in denial it ever happened even the son whose attitude i must have deserved it: I then spent 7 years at a boarding school where physical abuse was the norm of the day by the dean of discipline: Here again while 80 percent of the boys were spannked and beaten on their bottoms many are in denial to cal it abuse: that is the way it was in those days is all they will say. This makes 40 percent who accept it was abuse feeling different at times about it all: For me I have accepted it as abuse and I get on with my life to the best: live and let live is my motto if people were not effected or were but want to hold it in denial there is not alot I can do: So my suggestion to you is get on with living your life to the full, be happy, have peace of mind, Always believe in yourself speak with a counsellor if it gets too much for you to accept some members of your fsmily are in denial or even hpocritical about what your father did to them and you: Love yourself and love those who meAN THE WORLD TO YOU. It is worth taking Darlene words to your heart and make real sense of them for you: She sure speaks from the heart and professionally:

Nov 20, 2012
Fear grows on secrecy
by: BMW Princess

Of course denial is part of abuse.
If the child tells "the secret" the abuser will be stopped. Child sex abusers like what they do so they don't want to stop. Abuse thrives on secercy and fear. If you don't tell anyone fear grows like aspergillus in a basement.
And ye shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.
John 8:32

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