At This Age the Child's Mind Still Recalls

by LKW
(Cherry Hill, New Jersey, USA)

Darlene, first let me say thank you for this all-inclusive website.

What brought me to you was research on sexual abuse for a blog I will write, but not in the first person. Amazingly, after about ten minutes of reading selected sites I became aware of being fidgety, a slight headache, and periods of not breathing. I smacked myself on the cheek and pushed away from the desk. At the age of sixty and years of being at peace from the abuse by an uncle, physical signs told me that personal turmoil was still possible.

Sadness did not take over like it used to, but still my child's mind reverted back to how I felt through those years. Smells, images, and so on resurfaced. I realized the results of those violations never really go away.

At about age twelve, I put an end to the abuse, but did not tell my parents until I was twenty-five, married and the mother of a beautiful little girl.

Her birth was the catalyst to facing the hold abuse had on me. Many articles had come out at that time about incest, etc., and I began reading and digesting as many as I could find. Counseling was next for a couple of years. I have revisited counseling a few times over the years and am always self-developing.

My point is, healing is absolutely possible. However, the impact of the molester's actions is always with you, I think. When least expected, the impact can give cause for another self quest and another level of healing.

This is the first time I have ever put even this much in writing about my abused past. I consider it a new level of healing.


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Jun 20, 2008
A lifelong journey for some...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I thank you for your kind words about my site. I am deeply honoured that you would choose my site on which to write about your past.

Indeed, when it comes to child abuse, the mind recalls and can bring about physical reactions at just about all ages. I refer to these reactions as "being transported back." I believe that the degree of the reactions and the length of time of any subsequent dysfunction reveal the "work" still left to do when it comes to the healing and recovery process.

Each of us must find our own path and pace for this sometimes lifelong journey. And as we get older and acquire additional experiences, we may also find ourselves re-dealing with a past we believed was long ago resolved.

You said: "When least expected, the impact can give cause for another self quest and another level of healing." I applaud this positive thinking. Beliefs such as this will carry you far in your quest. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jun 20, 2008

I agree with you about that abuse can come back,because i still remember my abuse!Looking back,i don't think it was my fault..well KNOW it was NOT my FAULT,But i don't think it was her fault b/c the same thing happened to her when she was growing up.If i could go back and change anything for her,and for me i would change that part of it all I spent yrs until she told me it was ok and was glad i got her help,blaming myself for her getting in trouble.With the other guy(man)that abused me I do blame him all the way and make NO excuses or explanations for him,I don't know why he did what he did because,he had a lot going for him,a career in the military as a higher up in the army,something that i would really want..he had and choose to throw it all away.But I for give b/c without forgiveness god cannot forgive me of my sins,plus that would make me full of hate and i would n ot be able to move on .I post in hopes that others that read this can forgive their abusers too..but the abuser if at all*possiable needs to ask forgiveness* to and needs to be *really sorry*But even if you will never get an apology out of the abuser it is still possible to move on w ith your life and*forgive anyways*.

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