Abuse Not Punishment

by Rob
(Location Undisclosed)

I agree that baring and exposing a kid for a spanking is a form of abuse, especially for older kids.

I grew up in the 60s when spanking was normal and accepted by everyone for any excuse or misbehaviour. Fortunately spankings at my home were rare and always given over clothes or on bare legs since we wore shorts most of the time, usually with a belt.

But it was a different story at school.

A teacher could take you to a closet or empty class, or keep you after class or during recess, where they would take down your pants and bare you for a spanking.

In first and second grades they would usually spank your bare buttocks with their hands, but from about third grade through 5th or 6th grade you were spanked with a ruler or leather strap, still on your bare buttocks.

The exposure didn't matter much in the lower grades but in the upper grades at age 10-11 it was humiliating and very embarrassing, especially since most teachers in grade school were female. Standing there bared from the waist down while she lectured you sitting on a chair with you standing in front of her before spanking you was a punishment in itself.

We were much too innocent then to think that this was anything sexual or abuse.

Teachers had different methods of spanking. Some would put you over their knees, while others would hold you by the arm and spank you standing up with your front fully exposed throughout the spanking.

Still others would make you bend over a desk, which were how most of my spankings were done, though not all.

Also some would make you get dressed immediately after the spanking while others would let you cool down or inspect the damage they had done while still exposed in front of them. I am sure that some teachers got off these bare spankings, but what would we know about this at that age?

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Comments for Abuse Not Punishment

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Mar 07, 2016
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Just like pyromaniacs are drawn to be firefighters, there is no doubt that some teachers--not all, but definitely some--saw that the profession was a target rich environment for them to legally act on their sexual urges. And as you pointed out, some would do it ritualistically, which was acting even further into their sexual fantasies, all under the guise of "teaching the child a lesson". I've said this before...imagine the glee of the adult who could get sexual stimulation each and every day without impunity, and do so openly without fear of any action against them. In fact, to be able to sexually abuse unsuspecting children with school system, societal and parental consent. Worse, it was expected of them as teachers! I cheered the day Canada banned such practices. And though there are many states in the USA that have also banned the practice, there are still too many that encourage it.

And anyone reading this commentary and my comment who wants to hail the practice of spanking, strapping or paddling children, don't bother. Your comment will never see the light of day, for a very good reason. This is a site that deals with abuse victims and survivors. The last thing I'm going to allow is anyone to post some version of, "Kids need and deserve it" when so many here have suffered irreparable damage. This is a safe haven for such survivors, which means, spanking is considered abuse, and encouraging it will not be tolerated on any page.

Study after study after study has shown that spanking kids has long-lasting negative effects that far outweigh any short-term benefit. Effects such as:
  • lowered IQ

  • less gray matter in the brain responsible for judgement

  • more prone to aggression

  • more prone to depression

  • more prone to addictions

  • less productive in adulthood

  • various long-term mental health issues
The trouble is, people hang onto their beliefs, often siting the line that is reserved for those who don't have a good argument: "I got spanked as a kid and I turned out just fine." To which I respond: You didn't turn out "fine", because despite all the evidence, you still believe that hitting those who are the smallest and most helpless in society is right and just, but you'd likely be the first in line to have someone who slapped you anywhere on your body charged with assault, in spite of being in a better position to defend yourself than any child would be.

Okay...I've ranted on enough. As you can tell, this issue is one I feel very passionate about.

Thank you, Rob, for sharing your story and perspective with my visitors and me. May you get the healing you need and want. I send you love, light and healing energy.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Mar 08, 2016
not anonymous
by: Scott 1

Hi Darlene yes that was me a while back in comment on another. Quieter these days, just I feel Ive given up on search for sanity on this subject. My own community let me down in my search for identity of my abusive teacher. I haven't recovered yet.It seems people are all talk but when asked they fail. See if it was one of theirs or themselves it would be more important. Also Darlene as you've pointed out for so many its just the way it was and didn't effect them as it has others. They even snicker I don't know if its from embarrassment, an uncomfortable subject or they think your full of it. This is a hard thing to bring up these days and be believed. This internet is so full of fakes and made up stories its hard to tell one from the other. Telling people they just think you are making it up because that sort of thing never happened to them so it didn't happen anywhere. Respectfully Rob I get it. How to process it with some meaningful conclusion has eluded me. Forgive me for saying but at least you got yours in private. It leaves us corrupted. The more I dwell on it for understanding the clearer it becomes that she enjoyed it. She must. And she had her favorites. She must she only did it to a couple. In the line of duty you would think she would do it to everyone she could but she didn't. Like I said its hard to put that in a place that makes sense. I wish there was a place we could class action this but even in my own school and area there are no others dwelling on it, the past, the unresolved. Ive grown quiet. Its awful. Empty and unfulfilled. Hollow. Cheap.If I can ask Rob it sounds like this happened to you in the UK. But then who knows, who knows what version was used by who and where it was used. Nobody here in Canada cares to speak up about it unless its residential school, or school for the deaf. What about the rest of us are we less damaged ?

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