About Child Sexual Abusers

by Mike
(Canada)

Here are just a few points/notes about child sexual abusers that more people need to know.


- If you are a victim and they stop abusing you, don't think it's over. They'll find someone else. They don't stop until they are stopped.

- Child sexual abusers don't just become one overnight. They start with thoughts and desires that one day they decide to act out. In many cases, they don't even know why they are having the kind of thoughts they have, but over time, the thoughts grow stronger until they become desires, then one day become actions.

- Many of these abusers don't want to be who they are, and sometimes don't even know why they are the way they are. It's a mental illness they have no control over. They need help to be normal, or at least be as normal as possible.

- Most child sexual abusers actually want help in the early stages, but then as time goes on and they progress further, they become harder and harder to help, and have less and less desire to be helped.

- If any adult seems to be spending excess time with kids, or seems to be too affectionate, you need to keep a close watch. It may not be something to worry about, but it could be, now or in the future.

- Abusers tend to start with a sexual interest in the children they know. Sometimes they end up abusing those children. Other times they go out and find other children.

Child sexual abusers can be helped in the early stages, so if someone you love is abusing you, report them to get them the help they need. The sooner you report them, the better their chances of being helped.



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Comments for About Child Sexual Abusers

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Jan 11, 2010
Mike:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Thank you for sharing your thoughts about child sexual abusers with my visitors and me. You bring up some excellent points. I will add one thing with regard to your second point: In the overwhelming majority of cases, perpetrators of sexual child abuse were themselves sexually abused as children. Understanding the etiology of child molesters is paramount to developing programs that will address and treat the underlying causes of their criminal behaviours.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Jan 12, 2010
''WOW'' what a positive constructive way to help us understand those who abuse.
by: maurice

MIKE a canadian like our wonderful and gifted site steward Darlene. She has the gift even from a distance to bring out what is good in each of her visitors. You sure put our (my) understanding of abusres in perspective, thank you. What percent of those who abuse were abused in their own childhood we don't seem to have stat's for. Through the years and from my own childhood years abuse of others begins nievely and totally innocently. from playful romping around with one;s friends as children/teenagers. doing silly thing together in total innocence at least that what it was when I was a child back in the 50's I am not so sure I would call that innocent anymore now with all the underage sex that is happening around the world over. I did not know that there were abusers in my midst in rural Irlenad at that time. We had them all where I grew up. We nievely accpted our lot when beaten on the bare-bottom or when some adult fondled us while working on the farm during our summer holiday. all us young people just laughed it off. The sad thing is that these (abusers) did not see it as such and therefore continued doing it all their lives. Oblivious (or were they?) that they were abusing. Many Fathers of that generation had power, were power within their own house. Did things that was blatantly abuse. Like 9Especially) beating their daughters on their bare bottoms or knickers right into their late teens/early twenties abusing the dignity of their daughters. A few of these now relate to me that they are still effected by it when they relate it in trust to some of us who went to school with them. Knowing that was the culture their fathers/mothers grew up with from their parents. Abuse is well defined by you Mike. Thanks Darlene for confirming and affirming that a high percent of abusers were abused themselves. No excuses for ABUSE ever.

Jan 13, 2010
Throw away the key.
by: Abused/ Child Advocate

Child sexual abusers can never be made well. They will always desire their preference for, a boy, a girl, a certain age, etc.
Locking them away from children for their entire life is the only way children will ever be safe from them. We live in a sick society, in many ways. As for sexual abuse of children; it is not a sickness it is a deviate sexual desire enjoyed by men & women. They know very well what they are doing.
It is easier for those of us who have more except-able normal desires, to think they must have a sickness, it is less complicated to make an excuse for their misbehavior. We must stop making excuses for these behaviors. We must stop thinking of punishing them, and simply consider how we as a society can protect children from them. If we use common sense we would never allow them to walk freely among children ever again. The destruction, the suffering, the turmoil, not to mention, the tortures and murders occurring everyday all across the world speaks for locking them away, and throwing away the key.

From Darlene: I ask that you please refrain from being disrespectful when commenting on this site, Abused/Child Advocate. Disagree if you must with the statements made by the person who wrote the article, but I will not permit you to disparage anyone who writes here, which is why I modified your first few lines of comment. Thank you for your understanding.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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