When BOTH Parents Sexually Abuse Their Child
There was a woman who lived next door to me years ago in a different neighborhood than where I live now, and she told me that her son hadn't spoken with her or her husband for many, many years.
When I asked her why, she replied, "Oh, J. has always been the troublesome one. He has mental problems. He's out of work on medication now so I hope he's getting the help he needs."
Right away, I suspected something unsavory.
I asked, "Why would your son not speak with both you and your husband? What happened to J. that made him so angry toward both of you?"
She replied, "Oh, he's just nuts. He claims that his father sexually abused him. Nobody believes him. My husband would never touch a child. My husband loves his children."
Some months later, the woman's husband took ill. That's when J. began to shyly show up.
J.'s father died a few months later.
Years after that, something shocking occurred.
I received a phone call from my former neighbor and her voice was quivering.
She began by saying, "Well, J. had a recent heart attack."
I said, "Gee, he's only around 49 years old. How horrible that he has heart problems."
She replied, "Well, I'm helping him the best I can now, and he and his father made peace with one another before his father died. He forgave his father for what his father did to him; sexual abuse."
I nearly fell over when I heard her admit what I had thought all along.
Then, she totally shocked me when she said, "Well.....I had a part in it, too."
I asked aloud, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"
She said, "I had a part in J.'s sexual abuse, too."
So help me, I had all I could do not to slam the phone down on that old woman's ear.
I gathered my composure and asked, "You mean to tell me that YOU also sexually abused your own son like your husband did?"
She replied, "Yes, but in those days adults used to touch kids like that all the time and nobody thought anything about it."
I was furious with her, but kept my cool.
I said, "It is NEVER okay to sexually abuse a child. What you did was sick. You had better ask God for forgiveness. I'm not a nun so your telling me does no good, but only makes me realize just how sick some adults are toward children. Thank your lucky stars that I won't be your judge and jury when YOU die."
Note from Darlene: I relocated the above story from Cathy onto this Commentary page because I believe the message is too important to keep hidden away as a comment. What are your thoughts about this issue of BOTH parents sexually abusing their son, and then both of them living in complete denial about it?