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Aug 24, 2015
Kyle:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Clearly, your mother is deeply troubled. Whatever is going on in her life, she's taking it--or at least took it--out on you. She may well have been targeting you, which is a documented phenomenon among parents, in particular, mothers. There can be many reasons for a parent to target their child for abuse, none of them an excuse, all of them an explanation.

Though you see your mother more monster than parent--and understandably so--her flaws as a human and her inability to cope are at the core of her vile behaviour. That means that you are not to blame. It means that you ARE enough. That you ARE worthy of dignity and respect and love. I can only hope that the choices and decisions you make going forward in your life you make in your best interest, and not in order to get away or prove something to someone else.

What I hope for you is that you see your own potential and rise up to it. That you use what happened to you in a positive way, a way that can help others, as well as yourself, especially healing. And that can look different than you might expect. Make friends. Find things that interest you, things you are passionate about. Explore your Self and what you bring with you into the world. Your experiences and how to heal from them are needed in the world. But first, you must find healing within your own Self. And your ability to do so, I have no doubt, will rise right along with you.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me. I sent you love, light and continued healing energy, Kyle.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Aug 24, 2015
A Prayer of Restoration for Kiley
by: Michelle L

Hi Kiley,

It seems to me that you & I share something truly horrific in common.. My mother targeted me too. She said I was my father's favorite and blamed her divorce on myself. I also suffered untold varieties of abuse & shaming for the eighteen yrs that I lived at home (barring the six months she picked me up at school to take me to CYS, insisting on a "foster home or I'm going to kill her".. her jealousy was that severe and carried over into any relationship with other family members and friends.. She told them all "they didn't see the 'truth' about me"... I was polite, quiet, didn't drink or do drugs, ironed my clothes to perfection & cleaned that way too. I'm 48 now. I have PTSD severely! I'm very well read on studies of the brain and health & wellness in general and have tried my utmost to comport myself, as a lady with dignity and respect for all life but my own, through the years. I've been a terrific advocate for others in a host of ways throughout the years. I can testify to something else though that's a real danger to anybody who comes from our type of background. While it's awesome to focus on others and be a contributing member to greater good in the world, perfect housemate, employee, friend, etc etc. Acknowledge your pain early on in your healing! You were abused severely! You're real! You matter very much! You've survived an immensely horrific ordeal.. Chin up, square your shoulders and turn your face to salute the sun. Making it out alive was a major feat! At least it was for me... I buried my shame in denial for so very many yrs.

Wanted only to offer up to you the poor example I was to myself in the 20 yr aftermath of my youth. Healing has been gravely delayed not admitting to myself that my mother had actually succeeded in hurting me until these last five yrs.. I'll hopefully be fine.. I have a great team of professionals now.

I wish you opportunity and blessings, gracious people who cross your path, wellness, faith, and possibly most of all.. restoration unto that awesome person that God has you here to become.

Dec 17, 2015
Healing
by: Starkishia

Hello Kyle,
My name is Starkishia, and our upbringing with abusive mothers is very similar. I totally understand your hurt and pain because I was very young when my mother started physically, emotionally, and mentally abusing me. Every week she called family meetings where she beat and insulted me in front of my younger siblings. An innocent child, like you, I was accused and abused because her life was not the way she wanted it. And she needed a way to release her frustrations, so she chose me. Like you, I began abusing myself, and i attempted suicide by cutting my wrist when I was 10. My troubles worsened from that point.
I agree with what Darlene Barriere's comment to you. Turn your hurt into inspiration for others, and in doing so you will heal and find inner peace. Thanks for sharing your story. God bless.

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From Victim to Victory
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How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

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