Traumatized Forever

by Nija
(New Jersey, USA)

Hey, I'm Nija. This may seem uncomfortable and triggering if you’re new and are visiting but, I'm a victim of a sexual act...obviously, it's sexual abuse. This happened to me about 4 times and this was 2 years ago.

I was 13 years old. I was a happy kid. I would smile a lot. I was always so hyper and full of life and energy until…welp, that stopped when a certain uncle broke my spirit into pieces.

It all started in my mom's room. I was sitting on her chair and she was sitting on her bed. My uncle was also sitting on her bed next to her. The TV was on and I was watching it. Then, my mother left, went out with my stepfather. My siblings weren't there but my older sister was upstairs the entire time. I continued watching TV, then my uncle tells me to give him a hug and I did. That's when I pulled back a bit and he holds me and leans back to where I'm on top of him. Suddenly, he's restricting me. The front part of my body was facing the ceiling but my lower back is on his pelvic area. His arms are still around me and I can't budge or move.

The second time was when I was sitting down in my room, just to figure out what just happened. I went on my phone to clear my head and so I'm just minding my business, and he follows me to my room. He sits down next to me. He's 1 inch away. So, I'm still on my phone and he starts to feel on my chest for 5 min. Another 5 min goes by and I'm standing up. He's in the back of me and he feels on my chest once more. He's grabbing my shirt and my chest. I wanted to say something but I froze up.

The third time this happened was when I was in the front of the bunk beds about to leave my room. I was getting ready to go downstairs so I could eat something. But, my uncle stops me and tells me that he wants to "Play fight". I tell him the second time that I want to eat. So as I step out into the hallway he tugs on my braids to pull me back, so that I wouldn't leave. Then, he pulls me towards his penis area and he's leaning forward he starts touching all over my chests and vaginal area.

The fourth and last time this happened was when I finally went downstairs. I was eating at the seat by the refrigerator and he came downstairs and said, "What are you eating?" I told him, "Salad". He said, "Oh really?" and I said, "Yea" and then I thought he was going to leave after all of this but suddenly he hovers over my chair and starts touching on me again while I'm eating.

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