The Effects of Child Abuse - Part 2

by Rex
(Portland, Oregon, USA)

Continued from Part 1: 
I used to be the poster boy for mis-advised tied legal hands in a world of psychiatric child abuse that no-one cared enough to just stop and look. That story your counselor told you about the kid just sitting there and not saying a word for hours, and how it was all right to do that...that came from me. I wouldn't know what to say-why I should, or why this man cared. I only knew that I didn't want to be in the same room or facility with the man psychiatrist, so I would say nothing session after session. All I knew was that I was scared, alone and the world hated me. Not true of course but I could not embrace my feelings or my thoughts at that age. Then thanks to Mother's ways and my poor childhood development during my second summer of being locked up in detention only because I had no place to go or anyone willing to take on the not so bright young, very imaginative boy (I had committed no crimes) I soon became required reading in a certain county district's office for legal interns. Thanks again to Mom.

Anyway I'm not going to mention any more without a book deal (movie rights...OK) and an attorney.

You suddenly stopped caring didn't you.

No, I'm just going to leave you with this for now, which regrettably is very little, about the abuse and more about the effects of. This is my concern about child abuse (THE EFFECTS).

Today I live 2300 miles away from dear Mother and could not be happier. I've spent the past six years in college and am 4 credit hours short of graduating with my bachelors degree during the worst U.S. employment crises I can remember. (Which should be three PHD's, and a MFA minor by now.)

I'm a very intelligent man.

However, I love my Mother because that is the healthy thing for me to do, and her....not so much the right thing or the thing that will set me free. But she is my Mother and I love her. I just don't like her very much...and I can live with that.
By the way, I am a Father now whose only son is about to become a PHD...I am a caring, providing parent for him, and he loves me with all of his heart as I do him.

My childhood is not a difficult child to find out about, but I live my life much differently now, and I think for myself and I process and embrace my feelings and all my thought process either up or down and with open arms...I love it! As always I love life and living! I do not self medicate or even have a wish to during any moment. It is the second time in life God has pointed my feet in a direction many miles away from those who truly really don't care for me at all (LOL). This time I can actually hear him.

You couldn't promise me the lottery to move back Thanks.

After all it isn't about them, it is about me.

If anyone ever approaches me about this I will suggest to be open and direct about it or I will not trust you. My name is Rex.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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From Victim to Victory
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How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life


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