My father and mother had divorced when I was 7, and I knew that my father was an extremely manipulative and abusive man. My mom always told me that he never meant what he said, and that he just couldn't be trusted, but being a man myself, I just really wanted a father figure in my life, and selfishly ignored my mother's warnings.
My mom and I would move from house to house, city to city. We would change our numbers and everything constantly, trying to get away from him, but he'd always manage to find us.
Once, when I was about 12, my mom left me home alone (which she rarely ever did), and went off to an overnight shift. I heard the doorbell ring, and I stupidly thought it was my mother or someone, but it was my dad who showed up at my doorstep.
I remember the feeling of horror, as I recalled all my mother's warnings, but my dad just smiled and stroked my hair and told me how much he missed me. I realized I missed him too, and let him in.
He asked me where mother was and I told him she was off at work. He asked where she worked and I said I didn't know. He kept asking and asking and I didn't tell him, because Mother always said to never let him know where she worked.
He asked me, "Did your mom tell you to say that?" and I felt my heart skip a beat. I shook my head, and all of a sudden he got mad. He shoved me down onto the couch, and yelled at how I was just like her. I remember that I stared at him in complete shock, so startled at his mood swing.
Then he started to pull at my clothing, and I came to my senses. I just whimpered and weakly pushed him away, but I really didn't do anything else. All I remember is that I started crying and he got mad at me for crying and told me I brought this onto myself.
He made me suck him off and he raped me, and I just remember digging my nails into the couch. I can't talk more about it because it's extremely triggering, but in the end, my mom filed a restraining order and I have been safe since.