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Mar 14, 2010
Separated from parents/guardian for interviewing...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

To NOT interview a child separately is to ensure the social worker does not have to continue with an investigation and thereby lessen their workload, and in the process, results in condemning that child to further abuse. How many children must die before we adopt the means for children to be heard, really heard?

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir


Mar 15, 2010
Your the strong one. Be proud
by: eileen howard fralick

We all, as survivors, created even worse events for ourselves, than what we had lived through, hold your head real high, you only reacted to what was happening, it has nothing to do with who you really are, forgive yourself, and go forward strong and proud, keep talking about it until you can't talk anymore. I send you all the best feelings I can find, you are not the bad one, your the strong one. and your story is making me stronger too. Thankyou for being brave enough to be so honest about yourself. Eileen

Mar 17, 2010
Thanks
by: Hayley

Thank you Eileen for those words. I am in a serious quandry at work, close to really blowing my top with my ward manager due to being submissive. I had a run in with a porter who seemed to be in a strop for some strange reason today and I took him on, at the end muttering to myself that I would also talk to my Union. I accept that that was a bit over the top. It's a case of damned if I do damned if I don't and it gets seriously frustrating when I can't do right for wrong. Ever since I was a kid growing up with all the abuse I felt like an outsider, and feel like that again at work. It's pretty tough right now but I suppose in time I will get through it. It's a lottery as to how I am expected to feel tomorrow, the colleague that I mentioned will hopefully be ok. He "aint"/isn't stupid though and I can't see it being easy to hide how I really feel from him. It's a pain in the backside.

As for social workers, after the fiasco with mine I just don't trust them, won't get near them if I can help it. So far as I'm concerned they just let you down or patronise the hell out of you.

Feb 09, 2011
Comonsense advice
by: Elaine Ellis

Just read this. I know you wrote it a while ago, Hayley, but it feels really relevant...

One of my decisions to quit Social Work was the outdated system, bogged down with beaurocracy. It's not at all conducive to helping people. Nowadays, there is too much penny-pinching, and cutting time and resources. Too much cost-cutting, and too few staff. There is no encouragemnet to be creative, or to provide care and support that actually meets the needs of the person using a service. We have a working cultire of "one size fits all" (or should I say, one care package fits all). We are scared to spend too much. We also have a system that makes it very difficult for people who need help to put their vies across. It is always "the doctor knows best", or "the expert knows best". It is always "blame the Nurse" or "blame the Social Worker"... blah, blah. Too much red tape. And behind this there hide a lot of people who REALLY DON'T CARE. People who are only in thr job, working as Nurses or Doctors or Social Workers for the power and the money. They DON'T CARE about patients or sevice users or whatever. It's just a job!

Instead, what's needed is a radical change to the whole system. One that allows people to receive the care and support they require. That allows them to have more say in what goes on. PERSON CENTRED care as opposed to the current RESOURCE LEAD care. I'm not saying all services and all workers are bad. It's just that in the current economic climate the Government seem to think the first thing to hit is the Public Sector. Why, I
ask?

We ALL need to stand up for things more. To have a say. To bring commonsense and reason to the table. Have courage in your convictions.

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From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

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