Response to my abuser

by Name Undisclosed
(Florida, USA)

I was molested from the age of 10 to about 16. It was continuous, and after a while, it became part of my life. Until recently, I had suppressed all my feelings. But I'm now 21, and I have reached a point in my life where I must make my voice heard. Below is my response to the man I once called "daddy".

Do you know what you did to me?

Don't pretend that you are confused you know exactly what I'm talking about.

I was your child....
How could you hurt me?

Do you remember?

I remember everything....
I knew what was happening...

I lost my innocence in that first moment....
I was so scared and frightened...
I remember shivering and feeling sad and confused...
You made a promise after the first time never to do it again....
But it was a lie because you did it again and again...you stole what little I had....you left my heart in pain....my mind a boggle....my body damaged....

Do you know the many nights I cried myself to sleep...
The nights I stayed awake because I anticipated your arrival....
The days I spent worrying and stressing about what you had done to me....

I was alone and had no one to talk to....
I suffered for years...
Trapped in silence...
The only way to survive was to pretend that it wasn't really happening....

But I'm not pretending anymore....
I know what you did....I feel the effects....
But I will not let it rule my life anymore....

It happened and I will speak up about it....
I'm no longer a prisoner...
I'm only a victim as long as I stay silent...

It happened and I have taken control of it...
This has made me a stronger person....

What you did was horrible...
It's no longer hidden in the darkness...
So now I'm finally able to move on....
I feel that I can finally live.....

~Survivor of child sexual abuse~

Darlene's comments to this Child Abuse Commentary "Response to my abuser" are at the link below.

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