Respect Your Body

by Mackenzie
(Location Undisclosed)

I'm 14 years old and I'm slowly healing from sexual assault.

Back in June 2013 I started to hang around the wrong crowd, I was 12 turning 13 that month on the 29th. I was a very confused person back then, I was so oblivious to everything it's unbelievable.

Anyway I started hanging around this group of people at a house not far from my school
that were into drugs and that's how I met my abuser, he's name was J-- he was 16 years old and was well aware that I was 12 turning 13 that month! (June) I started talking to him on Facebook and one stupid mistake led to another and I found my self meeting him on the corner of my school to go 'hang' out at H--'s which was the kids house I was hanging around at the time. I'm pretty sure we were first planned to go to his house which is 2 mins from H--'s, it's all kind of a blur to me still. We got to H--'s sat there for abit with everyone, it was both our ideas to go to his house cause it was crowded at H--'s just to HANG OUT! We sat in the lounge room for abit watched TV, then he showed me his room, I sat on his bed and then I had the idea to stay over, I wasn't to sure cause I knew my mum wouldn't allow it! I unfortunately lied to my mum about where I was and told her I was at my friends house. Later that evening J--'s mum came home, we sat for a bit then we went to bed, I had no idea why I was sleeping in his bed, It is such a blur and I was so confused at the time. J-- wanted to have sex, I liked the idea for a second because I thought I would be 'cool' like the other kids, I was so shy and scared before anything happened but he finally pushed me into it! Abit later that night about 12am J-- was said he was going to sleep I was so scared at the time that I didn't want to be up by myself even if I was with him! (Pathetic right?!) we ended up having sex a second time because he said he would stay up if I did it again, so yet again I out myself through something that was so scary and uncomfortable for me for some unknown sad reason. I finally went to sleep and the next morning I had several missed calls from my mum, before I decided to go home me and J-- sat in the lounge room while his mum and sister went out, J-- was hinting to have sex again! I yet again gave in because I was to scared to say no and scared that if I said no he would think I'm a loser and tell the others! (Which he did in the end anyway) I was so shy the third time, he tried pulling my shorts down because I wouldn't, I pulled them up and he pulled them back down I gave up and gave in. I left and went home after that. Weeks after I told my counsellor, she reported it and J-- got charged and a 12month good behaviour bond and I'm stuck with a life sentence of pain and frustration with myself! I am seeing an assault counsellor and it's helping! It's going to be a long road but I will get there sooner or later! :)

Girls respect your body and don't let what others think affect you!!!

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