Relationship Violence Story From Sylvia

by Sylvia
(Missouri, USA)

In 2003 I began dating a guy for a year, he left me for another woman that he met while in college out of state, they ended up getting married and had a child together. They were married for 3 weeks, she left him because of his behavior which he told me differently when we ended up back together 4 years later in 2007. I had no idea what I was in for and what he was capable of, all I heard him say was how bad of a person his ex wife was, he made me believe it. We moved into my grandmothers home that she had given to me in her will. He was taking medication for what I thought was only for depression from his divorce. Though it was really for his bipolar, severe anxiety, ocd, self inflicting pain to himself. Come the year 2008, I became pregnant, he then stopped with his medication, the physical and emotional abuse started. I was pushed through my drywall of my home, I was kicked through my glass table, alot of my belongings were broke and holes were put in my walls, I wasn't allowed to have friends or go anywhere, I was contantly locked in the bedroom he would hold the door foor hours so I couldn't get out. I would try and leave to get help or use my phone, he would take my phone and my car keys, and keep me hostage in my own home. I would get called names every minute of every day, I put on alot of weight because of this because he made me feel worthless. There are times I did have a chance and called police and they would throw the report out and not do anything. I was even to afraid to tell my parents what he was doing, because he had told me he would kill me if I told. And times when I did try to tell police afterwards he would make me pay for telling. He would even force me into sexual acts. In 2009 my son was born, the abuse continued and progressed. In other peoples eyes he was sane and perfectly well mannered and wouldn't hurt a fly, thats how he presents himself. Behind closed doors its a different story. He had taken a knife to me while I was holding my son, I had no help from him, just abused through out the relationship. Come May 2010, was the last time I was going to let him put his hands on me, my son was more important than anything. He had me in a headlock and brought me to my knees wile my 16 month old watched screaming in fear. When he finally released his grip I already couldn't breathe I was gasping for air, I quickly got to my feet looked in the mirror and seen my lip was busted and bleeding and welps were all over my neck. I grabbed my son to leave, and once again I was stopped because he knows with the way I looked he would have went to jail that day. But I was not allowed to leave. A week later I proceeded to take my son outside to leave, he ran outside took my car seat and put in his truck, chased me around the yard finally jerked my son from my arms as he kicked me and I started hitting him and scratching. He took off with my son as I ran inside got my keys and followed, I had to do 90 mph to catch up with him, he got to his mother's house which is a juvinille officer (this is why nobody will do anything because of her description)though she is nuts also, both sides of his family suffer schizophrenia, his mother asked me what is going on, I told her all I wanted was my son, I was not going to let him kidnap him because of being mentally ill and unstable. His mother blocked my way to my son, as I said okay whatever to walk the other way, she grabbed me by the hair and pulled, and tryed to bring me to the ground, as I held my own to a woman much larger than myself. Police did nothing they took her side because of being friends with her they did not even speak to me. They handcuffed my mom when she showed up. Why? Just because they are idiots. They said not one word to me. They then let the dad drive off again with my son, we met back at my house I opened his truck door, got my son out and told him to pack all of his stuff and leave. The cops stayed while he was packing, though I should have been smart and told them to leave my home, they had no right to be there. And now to this day I was forced to settle on visitation because I was told I had no chance, (because of people being biast) well a year from that has passed, my son is now 3 1/2 and suffers emotional distress, he tells me his nana, which is his dads mother, touches him inapropriatly, and his dads pulls his hair and is mean to him, he screams not wanting a bath or changed, he screams everytime he sees his dad. . There is abuse going on, sexual and emotional, I have a counselor lined up, dfs wont do anything until my son tells someone else other than the ones he trusts. Its going to take time for him because he can't trust anyone. He wont eat, sleep, and cant even go to the bathroom(poop) because of beind depressed, not knowing what is going to happen next. Well all I know is I have to protect my son because I dont want anything to happen to him so therefore have an attorney lined up for modification for no visits because my son is already emotionally damaged. It hurts that nobody cares, but now that I am stronger, because I am married, own my own home and have another baby on the way, I will not back down from anyone any longer. These people will get what they deserve, I am tired of being walked all over.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life


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