Relationship Violence Story From Name Undisclosed

by Name Undisclosed
(Pennsylvania, USA)

Still Suffering: 
When I was in college I got with the wrong crowd, and that is where I got my first boyfriend. It was fine at first, then he was spending my money that I was making, going out and drinking or bowling (which I like at the time too), but bowling came with drinking also. I couldn't really drink since I was pregnant after 4 months of being with the guy. When I would limit the drinks he could have it started yelling fights.

We got a place, but had to move due to the work that needed to be done. He had proposed to me but I knew I didn't want to be married, not like this. He even asked my dad, which of course my dad said yes. After losing he lost his jobs countless times, I got my CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) licence which made everything much worse.

When I got home, my son would be watching my ex play games, which my son was only 3-4 months at the time. Then after I got home he would leave for the bar/go to his friend's house which I still believe gave him drugs. I got tired of this and would tell him that he needs to go up and be a man which made my ex mad. He started hitting and accusing me of cheating (which I thought of, but didn't). About 3-4 months after I got my licence (CNA) I went into a job that I got, and it was an old man (god rest his soul) was not being taken care of right by his daughter. I got him all cleaned up and made sure he didn't get red, did odds and ends like vacuuming or putting laundry away which I didn't mind since I knew what I would be going home too if I left. I met his grandson's friend and we started hanging out, at first learning sign language then just talking which was again me not wanting to leave since I knew what I was going home to. My ex being angry and taking it out on me, which he would hit me, then it got to him cornering me. Then if I would try to get through he would get me to the floor and hit and kick me when I was down. Then I started to fight back and kick him from the floor. I got him good a couple of times but I didn't know at that time I could go back to my parents. I thought I was stuck because of my son.

After about two weeks of knowing my client's grandson's friend, he helped me get the courage to leave. I went home and was clutching what necklace he gave me, wanting to see him again. My ex sensed something was up and after a few days forced me to have sex with him. He would not take no for an answer and I knew my ex was drunk but it still doesn't make it right.

After that happened I moved out and was living with my mom and dad, but I still had to deal with my ex because of my son. I eventually told his dad what my ex had done but he didn't believe me. I still have some times when I flashback when my husband and I wrestled (in a good way) and see my ex holding my wrists so I can't get up when he's hitting me. My husband has been by my side and has not done anything like that to me. He's my everything, my savior, my angel.

I just wanted to tell my story so that other girls know they can get out even though they may have a baby or children. Nobody should have to put up with abuse in relationships. There is an out: family, friends, shelters also. I found my angel, you can find yours.

A Video Reading by Darlene BarriereNote from Darlene: I regret that I can no longer continue the practice of commenting on visitor submissions to the degree I have in the past, as I am currently writing a book on healing from child abuse. I ask that you please read my post of June 24, 2009 titled Announcement Regarding my Comments for a complete explanation. I welcome you to follow my progress on my Facebook page at Healing from Child Abuse. When you get there, don't forget to click onto the Become a Fan link. I do hope to hear from you there.

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From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life


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