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Mar 08, 2008
You WERE victimized; doesn't mean you must CONTINUE to be...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Andy, as a child you had no power. Your father had all the power over you; and as such, you were forced to endure physical and emotional abuse. That shouldn't have happened. You deserved a loving, nurturing, supportive and protective father. That was your birthright, a birthright you were denied. I can only imagine the horrors you must have lived through, in your father's home, in the Youth Centre, (I spent only one frightening night in that same provincial Youth Centre myself many years ago) then in group homes, and finally in various jails.

Andy, as a 35-year-old adult, you now have choices. Your father and the horrific things he did to you no longer have power over you, unless you let them. You can choose to continue to be victimized, or you can choose to start making healthy decisions for yourself. But only you can choose.

You've taken a giant first step by writing and admitting that you don't know where to start. The next step is accepting responsibility for your own life as an adult and for the decisions you've made as that adult. You must acknowledge what YOU are doing wrong in order to exact change in your life. Nothing will change without that acknowledgment. Acknowledgment is followed by acceptance of the consequences. You're going to jail as a consequence of your latest decisions, Andy. That won't change. What you DO to exact change in your life while you are in jail is up to you, and is dependent on the degree in which you are ready.

There are countless self-help books out there; many of which I have in my own library. The one I am going to suggest to you Andy is one that is receiving a great deal of publicity right now: A New Earth, Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle. Oprah and Mr. Tolle are together conducting a free 10-week online course through Oprah.com. The course started last Monday. I don't know when you are going to jail, Andy, and whether or not you'll have access to a computer, but do consider picking up the book. If you're ready, it could be life-altering for you.

I sincerely wish you all the best, Andy.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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