Comments for My Son Now Confirms Sexual Abuse

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May 12, 2009
A teaching opportunity...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I am not a lawyer, nor do I know what happened in your home while your son was growing up. There are two sides to every story; his side will be heard in a court of law, along with yours, presuming the case goes forward. He obviously believes you did not protect him; and if he decides to take this to court, it will be up to a judge, or judge and jury to make a determination.

You are in a difficult position. If you really did do everything in your power to protect your son, he does not believe you, for whatever reason. That may or may not change, even if a trial either exonerates you or determines there isn't sufficient evidence to find you guilty. He is angry and hostile toward you because he believes you enabled the abuse. And he likely wants little to do with you because of this, which makes your position even more difficult.

Your story is untypically of the stories I generally post on my site. However, there is learning opportunities by posting it. Parents need to be vigilant with regard to their children, and they need to take disclosures very seriously. Doctors and attorneys are not the best judges when it comes to your children. Parents know their children better than any outside party. And parents also need to be aware that when they bring in another family into theirs, there are risks, as was evident with your boyfriend's son. Effects of child abuse are different for each child. Each child will exhibit different signs, if any. And all signs must be taken into account. Parents must make healthy choices for themselves in order to ensure their children stay protected and safe from harm.

I wish you and your son all the best. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir


May 12, 2009
I say trust your Son and your own insticts as mother.
by: Anonymous

Yes, it is a difficult one for a mother to find herself in after a marriage break up. Trusting her children to their father which in 80% of situation work out well for all concerned but in your sons case it does not have seemed to. Trust between children and their natural parents in a stable relationship is a challenge. When step Fathers come into a relationship children in quite a number of situation find it most difficult to trust and get on with Step Fathers. I pray and hope for both your son and You that the truth will be known. It ain't a easy place to find yourself in but I'm sure good will come of it all in time.

Oct 21, 2009
Breaking the cycle
by: June Hamman

Your story is not uncommon but the sad truth of the matter is that no matter what you say to justify it or the fact that you did or did not do what was fully expected is not the issue. It is eating at you years later which means you know you should have done more, so start somewhere instead of getting everyone's approval and understanding on an International Site. All that said and done there are 2 factors to consider. (a) you too I suppose needed the attention and love you so deperately seeked at the time and could only offer what you had at the time and though your love for your children is unquestionable,otherwise you would not take it to these lengths, is not the issue. (b)When a child shares something that deep and graphic with you normally means.... I am in pain period! whether the abuser is an innocent party or not the fact that your son gave you such detail says...please help me, SOMEONE is hurting me. We often as parents wish things away because we too are in pain and searching for something to fill that empty hole but unfortunately as Adults we have a responsibility to our children even if we were not afforded the same opportunity. It does not help to fret over this till the day you die... start with forgiveness.. first to yourself then the parties that suffered and mostly to your son for unconciously letting him down. Ask a professional to assist. Its worth every cent!
I wish you well with the outcome

Jan 18, 2011
fathers choice
by: Anonymous

My 4 year old son has just disclosed to the police his 10 year old step sister has been abusing him when he visits with his dad. He doesnt believe our son, accused him of lying -he is only 4 and gave the police details of things that she would do to him.. Graphic details! His father defended the child and stated that he would continue to raise to raise her even if it meant to never see his own children again. This has really upset me. He only met these people 4 months ago and they have harmed my children.

Jan 19, 2011
You are one brave and strong mother/woman
by: maurice

You want what is the best for your special one: keep him safe, get all the support and help you need to be strong in keeping him safe: Love and cherish your beautiful child: You are good Mom; let him live his life to the full: encourage him to have a healthy mind in a healthy body: get taking part in sport and cultural activities with his friends, class mates, fellow students, he'll thank you for it:

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



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