Lifelong Effects of What Some Do Not Consider Child Abuse

by Ashamed

Lifelong effects after being hit/spanked: 
By many people's standards you could say that my upbringing wasn't abusive, but it affected me and the effects still linger. From the time that I was a little girl and I was spanked By my father I started having spanking fantasies which involved a man and a little girl. I found these fantasies to be very sexually satisfying and I've had them throughout my childhood and adolescence and adulthood. As a child I didn't even care that I was going to be hit or spanked, I became more and more defiant got hit/spanked more and more and was constantly having those fantasies of beatings. As an adult I have a problem with self mutilation. It has become obsessive. I can't seem to stop. I scratch myself until it hurts then I put a bandaid with ointment on it and it heals and then I do it again. I used to do it until it would bleed. I also was very sexually repressed for many years and it took years of therapy for me to get out of it. I have trouble being assertive and independent because I was taught to be submissive. Losing weight and looking good and attractive creates tremendous anxiety within me because I can't seem to bear looking attractive. I suffer from anxiety and depression. I'm glad your site exists. I needed to get this of my chest.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

I hope you'll follow me on:

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.

Click here to read or post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Child Abuse Article - Write one.

Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.

E-book: Victim To Victory

From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life


Most Recent

  1. Converging Stolen Lives

    Jan 30, 18 01:13 PM

    There was a time and space I didn’t think about you, or your abuse. Where when I looked back at my life, I only saw normal things, a normal childhood.

    Read More

  2. A letter to one of the 13 Turpin children

    Jan 29, 18 11:33 AM

    A heartfelt letter by a former classmate that speaks to bullying and regrets. You'll find it on my Facebook group. I hope you'll join and get in on the discussion.

    Read More

  3. Dissociated From Abuse

    Jan 29, 18 11:00 AM

    I was sexually abused by my father from age 6 to 13, which stopped when I started talking about it during the day. The teenage brother of my best friend

    Read More