Justice Was Done

by Sarah R
(UK)

I've always said to myself I could write a book about my life. I don't want anyone to class me as a victim. Yes I was, but am a strong lady now. This is why I think I can get my story out there.


My childhood wasn't a normal childhood. Always suffering abuse from my no longer father. He started hurting my sisters before me, as I'm the youngest.

The things he said. "This is our secret." I was only 7 years old, touching me and making out that he was only playing.

Back in them day's abuse wasn't really dealt with. That's why he got away with it for so long, in the 1980s.

My life was difficult, as I am epileptic as well, and I forgot most things he has done to me in my childhood. My oldest sister left and got away from the monster he is. She went away to work. My brother left for the navy. He wasn't affected by abuse.

Just my two sisters and me at home. My mum was lied to her whole married life. I was 8 and I got bought a treehouse. I was so happy. I loved it. He got me to put the treehouse on the table in the living room and he put his hand under my clothes and rubbed my bottom.
There was a big gap in my life. I just couldn't remember anything until I was 13 years old. He always got in bed with me and spooned me. And he would sometimes just stand in my bedroom naked and stare at me, creepy.

When I was 15 years old he raped me, and I just froze. It felt like I was screaming so loud, but no one could hear me. If anyone asked me when did you lose your virginity, I always say 18. I buried this rape for years.

He never left me alone all my life. H raped me again at 26 and I was pregnant with my daughter. He knocked on my door, and said, "I've bought you a new mobile phone." I had to thank him and I just said, "Thank you" but that wasn't enough. He opened my top and pinned me up against the wall. I was screaming inside so loud, but nothing would come out. He finished and smiled. I just cried and buried it.
As ever, I was always made out to be a liar. My life carried on and I had a beautiful daughter who I love with all my heart.

When I was 41, he asked me to go round as he had something to tell me. I went round, you ready for this, he said, "I have sexual dreams about you." I instantly felt sick and alarm bells went off in my head and firstly my daughter can't come here again. I got up to leave and he pulled me into him. I pulled away as I felt uncomfortable. I went home I was quiet for that day. I told my husband next day and I decided to go back round there on my own to speak to him and me mum.

Got there and my sister was there with my niece. I was really upset and he said let's talk in the garden. He was saying what can we make up, why you are upset, I know we say your daughter has been drinking. I couldn't believe it. Who would go down to that level? My daughter was 14 years old. I come home and told my husband he was going mad.

I decided to tell my siblings and if they will take him to court I got no chance. The same day my brother phoned me and he told me his daughter has been affected by him and my world was about to shatter. Yes, my daughter also. He abused my baby from age 6 years to 14 years old. Couldn't believe it at all. He abused my brother's daughter and my daughter at same time.

I come into the living room and asked my precious daughter, has he hurt you love. She went in shock and moved her head and said no. I knew he did. I was a mess. We decided to phone police, I did, and I reported all the abuse. My daughter got a social worker and she spoke to my daughter on her own. The social worker told me that he had abused her and was still abusing her. I hate him so much. That's 6 victims. He would still be doing it if I didn't speak out. It went to court and it took so long, from 2015 until end of 2016. He's now in prison. Got 18 years. Justice was done.

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From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

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