Innocence Taken

by Name Undisclosed
(Location Undisclosed)

My abuse started at 4 yrs old with abandonment issues from our birth parents right into sexual abuse from an uncle that went on for 6 years every weekend and summer breaks. My brother just a year older than myself had the same abuse as we were raised by our grandparents on my fathers side of the family.

As fourth grade was near I couldn't take it any longer so I told my grandparents what had been going on for years to my brother and I. I promised to not say a word as they promised he would never have us kids alone to touch us amongst other mental emotional torture we had been through.

I soon followed my older brother to go and live with our birth father. He had remarried and started a new family. Not a good choice for me as I was his punching bag and the verbal abuse was unthinkable to belittle and degrade his own daughter. He had such anger and hate towards me. It was my life from 4th grade until my freshman year of high school, as I ran away to live and meet my birth mother. She was a cold non loving self absorbed woman that had no loving nor tender side to her. I lasted 2 yrs with her. She gave me up to the state and wanted no financial responsibility, so a neighbor took over the rights to me. My grandparents on my father's side heard of the news and drove all night to get me. I thank God for them. I finished my junior and senior years in a safe loving environment. I am blessed, I know.

I am now 46 and have two great loving children that I thank god for daily. A son 23 and a daughter 20. I have spent years in and out of therapy. When I feel I can better myself I surely try. It's hard to put into words but I worked so hard on healing that little girl and loving her to find myself with abusive men. I have flashbacks as I have been told I suffer from PTSD and ADHD. As my latest trauma was put upon me with no justification nor cause, as my civil rights were violated by the hands of those who claim to protect the innocent. And now in my eyes there is no safe place anymore.

I shall always look for the good in life but I must say the older I get the harder it is to stand up. I refuse to be a victim for I am a survivor.

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