From my son's mouth: How do we handle the disclosure?

by PJH
(Rochester, New York, USA)

Today my son, 4, was riding in the back seat of the car with me, mouthing the words to a Bon Jovi song and stopped all of a sudden. He looked at me with a serious face. He asked me if it was OK if he used "potty talk." The last time he had asked me for permission to use potty talk he said that he thought something was stupid. So in order to keep an open dialog I agreed to hear him out. What he said to me was very disturbing. I'll outline the conversation below. Before you read, "Jack" is a boy in my son's Pre-K class:

Son: When Jack was in the shower he blew his dad's pickle.

Me: What did you just say (turning down the radio and giving him 100% of my attention)?

Son: He blew in the hole on his dad's pickle.

Me: With what?

Son: With his mouth.

**We went back and forth a few more times, as I was in shock. Jack's mom and dad are going through a divorce so I don't know what to make of it. The stick of the whole situation is that Jack's mom is a teacher at the school. Jack's dad has cousins, aunts, and I believe even his mother is an employee at the school. If we say something, even if it proves to be untrue, we're gone! That is not really my concern because if it is true, who cares what happens to our enrolment at a school if it saves a 4-year-old boy from this type of behavior.

What would you say would be the most tactful way to approach this? To file a report with CPS? To talk to Jack's mother? She could turn on us for the accusation or she may completely expose her husband without someone looking into it first.

My wife and I are torn! I would want to know! My wife is a Licensed Social Worker and knows that by law she has to inform someone. Please give us some advice!! We are friends with the mother as well and know that she needs to know. We would like to remain anonymous if at all possible.

Note from Darlene: My answer to this Ask Darlene question "From my son's mouth: How do we handle with the disclosure?" can be found at Comments below this submission. Depending on system activity, there are sometimes delays in comments going live on my site; but rest assured, they do eventually appear. So if you don't yet see them, I hope you will return later to read what I, and possibly others, have written. I thank you for your patience and understanding.

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