Comments for Darlene, did you get sexually abused?

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Jan 17, 2008
An answer...
by: Anonymous

I was beaten, strapped, choked, and thrown against walls by my mother on a regular basis. I was neglected, made to take care of my four younger siblings, as well as my mother, and I was made to feel responsible for all that went wrong between my parents. I was blamed for anything my siblings did wrong, because my mother thought I wasn't doing enough to take care of them if they were doing something wrong.

My father was violent towards my mother (and us kids), and he broke just about everything we owned in our home during his drunken rages. I was in elementary school the first time I saw the police drag my father off to jail for assaulting my mother and the husband of a neighbour who was trying to help us after my father had pulled a knife on my mother—I witnessed that knife-yielding incident.

I was emotionally abused every day of my life by my mother. I was told I was stupid, ugly, worthless, and that I should never have been born. She called me just about every name imaginable, including a slut. She portrayed herself as a good mother while in public and in the eyes of others, but in private, she was evil and purposefully tried to destroy me mentally. She told me that no one would ever believe me if I told; that they would always believer her. Yes, I did have a really rough time growing up.

Your question is not too personal, Angelie. I sincerely believe that when child abuse survivors know what I have lived through, they know that I am someone who can relate to them. I also believe that when others know I was abused, they know that I know what I'm talking about when it comes to the issue of child abuse.

Yes, I was sexually abused, by several different offenders between the ages of 12-16 years. As a babysitter, I was molested by 2 different fathers of the children I babysat for, while I was sitting for those children. I wrote of one of those incidents at child abuse story from Darlene Barriere on this site. When I told my mother the second time it happened, she blamed and berated me for "turning him on." I believed her, and because I thought it was my fault, I didn't ever disclose again, even when I was sexually assaulted at knife point by someone I had just met. Several other middle-aged men sexually abused me when I was a young teenager, but I never had to deal with being molested by my father or other trusted family member. I was 24 years old and in therapy when I learned that none of what happened to me was my fault. It was a lesson that I felt compelled to pass along.

Again, thank you for taking the time to write, Angelie. And good luck on your final grade for your speech.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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From Victim to Victory
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How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

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