Child Abusers were Child Abuse Victims

by Mark
(United Kingdom)

Nurture the inner child!! 
I ran from my parental home at 19 years of age. I recall even now how I once stood in a phone box crying for my father's help that I was not happy at home.


I ran because the boy inside of me was telling me something was not right. I could sense that my mum was not happy in her second marriage, and hurt was seeping out of her in an unhealthy way. It has taken me years to try and fully comprehend what exactly went on in my childhood, but with each day I understand a little bit more about not only myself but also my parents.

Both my parents were products of abusive childhoods themselves. My father, beaten with a belt by his father, went on after ten years of marriage to my mum to be gay. Probably seeking the love of another man that he failed to receive in childhood in his own right.

My mum, sexually assaulted as a very young girl, held all her trauma inside, which unfortunately for me was starting to seep out in aggression towards men when I was a boy.

I was a product of emotional abuse in my own right. I have learned to recognise my own losses in love and nurturing in childhood and try and nurture the boy within me now. It is also important to understand a little about the lives of your parents (especially if they are the abusers) in coming to terms with why and how things may have occurred. As pointed out by many victims, time and space is required to heal from any abuse, and it is essential in my mind to extricate yourself away from an abuser.

But I am a firm believer that time and space heal and assist in understanding. It's imperative to remember that love is about the soul, and in time if you can find it in your heart, it's important to forgive, because often, victims are created by victims.
I have empathy for anyone that has been abused, especially in childhood, and it's my hope and prayer that people become more aware of the impacts of abuse often through generations.

It is so important to have belief in the spiritual. Someone upstairs does look out for us, whatever name you perceive him or her to be. God knows if there wasn't I would be dead ten times over.

I am 40 now, and it has taken until now to understand what self-love is. All of us are children inside and it's essential to remember that it's the child in us that has fun too. Nurture the inner child and happiness, I hope and pray will come your way.

God bless you, because someone is upstairs, whether you realise it or not.

Love is forgiveness. Humans are flawed creations!!

A Video Reading by Darlene BarriereNote from Darlene: The volume of contributor submissions has now made it impossible for me to comment personally (especially in great detail) on each and every contribution. If I haven't left you a comment or one that is in-depth, please do not take my lack of a personal response as a slight, or as a statement that your story is somehow unworthy of my time. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, could be further from the truth. If there was a way for me to respond to all of you at length, I would.

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From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

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