Comments for Child Abuse Story of Healing and Recovery From Jillian

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Dec 19, 2011
Jillian:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Your story IS "that bad". To say otherwise is to say that others had it worse when that's not what's important (and you already know that on a logical level). What's important are the effects that abuse has had on our Selves.

You point out such relevant issues when it comes to various forms of child abuse and the often life-long effects of that abuse. Emotional abuse leaves the deepest wounds, wounds that continually open up as we are triggered moving through the various ages and stages of our lives. These wounds sometimes never scar over. Sometimes they fester, and that's when abuse continues on an inter-generational level. I suspect that may well have been what happened with your mother. Your childhood and mine have remarkable parallels, Jillian. Our mothers were cut from the same cloth. As a child, I coped by telling my Self that others had it worse, knowing that was the case. And of course, I paid the emotional price for that as I matured into adulthood without the ability to function properly because I was devoid of appropriate boundaries. I was also one of those who "understood" what my mother (both my parents, actually) came from, and as such, excused their abusive behaviour. I was in therapy before I learned that there was no excuse for what they did. This paved the way for true healing: I allowed my Self to fully feel the emotions and pain of what they did to me, which put me on the path of healing and recovery. Only AFTER I reached that point could I understand what they came from as an explanation rather than an excuse. Understanding is important, but never at the expense of burying our own pain. We truly ARE peas in a pod, Jillian. Thank you for sharing your story and thoughts with my visitors and me. You truly are an inspiration, and I send you love, light and positive energy.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir


Dec 20, 2011
I relate
by: Carrie

Hi Jillian,

I am so sorry for what you went though. I had to comment, because I feel like you just wrote my story, only my father was the main abuser, my mother being the enabler, she is more abusive to me now in my adulthood. Anyway, I have been in counseling for some time now and am gradually walking out of my past and feel so free! It hasn't come without a lot of work, and I have a lot more to do, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. I can smile and laugh and mean it. I lived numb for so many years and I have been learning how to feel. Wow is that hard, when feeling the pain of the abuse, but wonderful on the other side when I come through it and can feel joy, and happiness and I'm beginning to trust friends when they say they care, and want to be around me. I wish you all the best on your journey to recovery! It's worth it!

Dec 20, 2011
Such cruelty
by: Anonymous

Jillian, something's seriously wrong with your mother and she needs help. I'm sure that she must've been frustrated with her own life and chose to take it out on you. She should've had the courage to get the very professional help that she needs instead of abusing you. The path that she chose is inexcusable. I'm pretty sure that she must've been acting like a little 2-year-old trapped in a grown woman's body because she must've been stuck in her own childhood. You are not to blame for her cruel behavior; she is to blame because she chose to abuse you. You were the child; she was the adult; she had all the power and only misused that power over you. I really hope that you're in a safe place now and that you stay in counselling.

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