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Apr 29, 2009
 Part 1: Horrific abuse...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Vi, you lived through and survived horrific abuse and neglect. As a child, you resorted to coping skills that would help you with that survival. It's no great surprise that you would find, at least initially, some degree of comfort in the imaginary world of a child's story. That story gave you hope; we all need hope. That story gave you something positive to hold onto during those terrifying times spent essentially discarded. The fact that "Prince Charming" never came left you feeling even more betrayed and more abandoned than you already were. So now you deal with the repercussions of both the horrendous abuse and the fact that no one cared enough to intervene.

All too often, abused children do not have the benefit of a rescuer along the way. Some of us were more fortunate in that department than others. I had an aunt who showed me love; and though she did not spend a great deal of time with me, those precious few times where I was with her family and she did express her loving side helped me to realize there was someone who cared. Even though she never did anything to actually rescue me from my plight, knowing that I had one person who felt love for me was huge. It gave me some hope. Keep in mind that rescuers come in different forms: the unconditionally loving dog you slept with, for example. I realize that sounds ridiculous, but when we live in what seems like a hopeless situation, we must find the positive anywhere it might be, even in the seemingly ridiculous.

See Part 2: Singled out for abuse... below.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Apr 29, 2009
 Part 2: Singled out for abuse...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Vi, you wonder why you were singled out for abuse by your parents. I point you toward my article on this site titled Why Parents Target a Specific Child for Abuse. Keep in mind that what is offered are explanations; not excuses. There is NEVER an excuse or a good reason for a parent or caregiver to mistreat a child in any way shape or form. What is also important to understand is that you did nothing wrong. None of what happened to you was your fault. Fault and blame lies squarely on the shoulders of your abusers. THEY didn't deserve to have you as a daughter. YOU deserved love and nurturing and dignity and respect; you were—ARE—worthy of all of that. You were—and ARE—worthy of love; you were—and still ARE—loveable. So don't EVER put the responsibility on you for the way you were mistreated.

Thank you for sharing what you could of your story with my visitors and me. If and when you feel strong enough to share more, I'll be honoured to post it.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Apr 30, 2009
 Why do parents abuse , full stop
by: maurice

That is my re-action to your story Vi. If you were an only child I could not even answer the above question as to all you were put through by parents who had lovely children out of the same womb as you. Oh Vi, great you found Darlene and her site. I would not dare offer for now any more words of love to you. Reading her loving/caring/sincere words of support and encouragemnet from her heart to you. Begin to try and soak them into your heart and move one with your life. God danced the day you were born, creating you one beautiful special child/girl teenager woman. Begin to see your own beautifulness your beauty comes from within you to make your body beautiful and pretty. It may not be easy for a time but I believe you are a strong woman, you have been up to now coping whle trying to make a sense of all very bad people parents put you through and your big Question Why Me??? Vi Darlene has given you some beautiful words to begin with. Live well, Laugh alot and LOVe much. Say I love me and then give yourself one big hug and say it over and over again. I can do it do it for myself.

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