Comments for Child Abuse Story From Valerie1

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May 03, 2009
You DID NOT deserve those beatings...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Valerie, your father has serious rage problems. No matter what you did, you did not deserve to get beaten. Period. End of story. You'll never convince me otherwise. Your father used you as a punching bag; not only was that wrong, it was criminal. It is very difficult for me to comprehend how your mother couldn't know this was going on. All the makeup in the world could not have hidden the bruises. People turned a blind eye rather than step up and do what was right: to report what they suspected and knew.

The nightmares you still have are as a direct result of the trauma your father caused and the fear you still feel with him. He is obviously troubled and unstable. Loving and stable fathers do not use their fists against their children, no matter what. This is about HIS rage; it's not about you or your behaviour.

When parents believe that their child must be "controlled", problems arise, especially when that child is deemed to be "stubborn" or "strong-willed". Parents who believe they must "break" their child, break their spirit instead. Such practices result in lifelong repercussions that can be devastating. Children need to be guided using methods such as a system of privileges. Using such a disciplinary practice, all privileges must be earned and must be earned to be maintained, where misbehaviour or inappropriate behaviour results in the removal of privileges that must be re-earned to be reinstated. This would be appropriate discipline, discipline that requires supervision; but that IS the job of a parent. I sincerely hope you now realize that what your troubled father did to you wasn't your fault.

Talk to your mother, Valerie. If you can't talk to her, I urge you to contact Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you and help you with your options. They are not a reporting agency, although they can help you through the process of reporting if you decide to disclose the abuse. Neither you nor your sister deserves to live in fear. You both deserve love and nurturing, dignity and respect. Talk to SOMEONE, Valerie. You AND Amie need help so that your father can't hurt either of you.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

May 04, 2009
undoing of a Fathers abuse ain't at all easy
by: Maurice

I went to school as a child with a Valerie your beautiful name Valerie 1. Sadly her Father was not a nice man as your's wasn't. You both suffered the same abuse. cruel and not nice at all. I am not comparing Valerie 1. Your hurt and pain is yours as was her's. She's coped with it, she's a teacher and has three lovely daughters equally brilliant in their own right. She is a power house for positive thinking. Valerie she loves herself, she believes in herself, she is to me a perfect example that after abuse there is life. Valerie 1. Be Brave, Be strong for yourself and only for yourself now. Begin to believe in yourself, there's a greatness/goodness in you Larissa that is your's alone. Look in that Mirror and say I can accomplish anything I want. Larrisa never doubt that or find reason to do. Darlene knows best and say the right thing to each of her visitors that they can use as a stepping stone and move on in their life. She's done it for herself, she knows each of us has it in us to do it for ourselves. I am almost certain I can hear Darlene saying don't do beacuse I say it is the right thing to do. DO IT FOR YOURSELF. She's been there, worn the t-shirt sadly of abuse but is now a blessing to each of her visitors having done what she did to be where she's at now in her life. She gives great hope to each of her visitors because she emphatises with each one individaully.

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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