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Feb 05, 2011
V:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You have begun the process, the path of healing and recovery, as difficult as that is to imagine at this time. You have broken through the dam, the barriers you've so expertly built up for yourself. You are starting to feel; and that is critical to the healing process. You've spent all of your life making sure you buried what happened, and as a result, you've buried your emotions of life. By opening them up, you can now work on them. But you'll need professional help to deal with it all, as it can and will be overwhelming, because now you're dealing with all the lies, the betrayal, the abandonment, and the abuse itself. That's a ton to deal with alone. So please seek out some form of counseling. As for reporting, you're doing what you need to do V. Your brother doesn't know what he's talking about; he wasn't even alive during the abuse. His support isn't what you need. Lean on your husband and your immediately family, the family that knows you're telling the truth and will give you the support you need. The rest aren't worthy of your time. Good luck to you. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir


Feb 06, 2011
You can do this
by: Kaitlyn

I was abused for about fourteen years, I am now seventeen. It wasn't until last year that I came forward, let alone dealt with any if it. That, of course, may have something to do with the fact that I didn't actually remember most of it until last year. But what I'm trying to say is that I know what you're going through. This is all still very fresh for me and for a long time I felt that I wasn't making any progress. But then one day I realized that I had a good day. See, before then I hadnt had a good day in years. Yeah I laughed and goofed off with my friends, but there was always a sense of sadness in me. And for once there wasn't. The begins hard. It's REALLY hard, but it does get better. I'm not saying that every day will be better than th next. Because it won't. There will be a lot of ups and downs but you'll make it. As for the emotions you're now feeling? Perfectly normal. None of your feelings are wrong. they're just hard to deal with. I promise you, if you hang in there, you'll start to take control of your life again. Just remember that everyday you're here is another step forward.

Feb 07, 2011
It's common...
by: AnonymousT

...to experience body memories while remembering abuse. Sometimes we can feel the abuse even though it's over.
For instance I went to a seminar on massage & woman had been badly injured & volunteered to be massaged in front of everyone - once the therapist started working on the injury she literally went into position that she had been in during the trauma. It was eery. But it IS normal.

I'm so sorry you had to deal with the abuse AND the betrayal. How horrible and yet, how smart you were to learn to survive in any way you could.

Repairing the damage can be along, arduous road but you seem ready for it. I commend you on seeking support for your journey. You're a survivor.

T

Feb 07, 2011
today...is a bad day.
by: V.

Thank you for the supportive words. I have just been told that the arrest of my abuser will take place within days...and as much as I am depending on my new therapist to aide me in this unfamiliar teritory I'm entering, I'm quite certain I will be looking in on this page for some guidence and assurance that I'm NOT to blame for the outcome of these series of unfortunate events.

I am terrified of the ramifications that I'm going to suffer not only physically, but emotionally. I know that I will be belittled, possible physically hurt, and I have to wonder...is this really healing? Will having my abuse not be the deep dark secert be worth it? Even if things go as I'm told and I'm physically safe...will I blame myself if he is hurt or killed by himself or someone else while incarcerated?...will my brothers blame me?...all this uncertainty is extremely overwhelming and I could have not founf this site a better time through this ordeal.

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From Victim to Victory
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