Comments for Child Abuse Story From Undisclosed Female

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Jul 15, 2009
You have nothing to be "sorry" for...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

The "sorry" you keep saying is a mantra for you, in part, because you spent most of your childhood (and your adulthood too, it seems) apologizing for what you've been through; apologies that were necessary for survival at the time. I'm here to tell you that you have nothing to apologize for anymore. Certainly not here.

Your parents set you up for sexual abuse when they used the discipline methods they did on you. They made it so that one, you did not have any power over your own body, and two, that you would look for love in other places. You did not "let" JD molest you; you were a vulnerable child, a child who was being abused, emotionally and physically at home. Regardless of your parents' intent, they are responsible for the eventual outcome of their actions on you. You are NOT to blame for what happened to you with JD or with Jared.

Your friends in Texas are right when they say that your parents are being emotionally abusive. And they are right when they say that you must move out; otherwise, you will continue to expose yourself to this abuse. You are worth so much more than that.

Your mother has mental problems that she needs help with, but that is not your responsibility. Your responsibility right now is to yourself; and the best way to meet that responsibility is to create some distance between you and your abusers. Right now you need your Self more than anyone else, meaning that you must act in your own best interest. Do not continue to believe the lies your parents beat into you. You are NOT stupid; you are smart and highly capable. You ARE lovable and you ARE worthy of dignity and respect. Right now you want what your parents cannot seem to give you. There is nothing you can do to change that. What you must consider is giving yourself what you need most: love, dignity and respect. Start by giving yourself the distance you need from abuse. Start by treating yourself the way few have before. You're too special NOT to.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir


Jul 15, 2009
Such So-Called Disciplinarians For Parents...and a Pervert For a Roommate
by: Anonymous

What your parents did to you is not discipline; in fact, it is abuse. No less. Your parents (and eventually your mentally-challenged sister) are very twisted in their own ways of thinking and they need help, but you need help, too. The sad thing is that I can relate; I, too, went through slightly similar stuff and my so-called parents, alongside those who loved them to pieces, literally thought it was "discipline". You are not to blame. Whatever you had gone through will never be your fault. You might want to try counselling. Family counselling is also a good idea. Be brave, and stay strong. I am thinking of you.

Jul 16, 2009
Physical/emotional/sexual abuse all in one at a very vunerable age
by: maurice

Why, oh Why Parents don't love their children equally has baffled me for years. Why they did not help you to value and appreciate your body and your sexuality also baffles me. Parents still keep making reasons as to why they don't.
Undisclosed Female I have no doubt you are beautiful, you are better at something than your sisters and brother are not Great you were ever so brave and strong enough in yourself to write your horrific experiences as a child. You suffered all forms of abuse which will take you time to heal from. Start being ever so loving and patient with yourself. You have found true friends in Justin and his wife allow them to be your courage friends. Letting go of so much, you must, it won't at all be easy for you. Your parents certainly have done you a total wrong. both part of beating you severely on your bare bottom with that belt. lecturing you certainly added to your physical pain. Loving Parents would not do that, caring parents would not do that, real parents would not do that. draw your own conclusions to what I write beautiful woman, beautiful human being behind your anonymity Undisclosed Female. Darlene, she is one very special woman a female like yourself who sure can empaathise with you and her many visitors on their abuse stories. she's been there, endured that and worn the T-Shirt of abuse. You are highly intelligent in your own right, decipher her words to you and act on them. The comment she's made back to you is totally from her heart. Hi be assured Darlene and all her visitors want what is the best for you now to overcome those horrific times you endured as a child. Professional help as Darlene suggests is a good place to begin to let go ever so slowly and daily of the awful and awesome memories you have. Build up yourSELF WORTH. SELF ESTEEM by building up a good mirror image of your self.
I LOVE ME. SAY IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN, YOUR NEW MANTRA AS DARLENE SAYS YOUR I'M SORRY HAS BECOME FOR YOU. I can do it, I will do it, I must do it for my own wellbeing NOW. You are 25, become that beautiful person (FEMALE) in your own right. Allow a hug of yourself from time to time while looking at yourself doing it in the mirror. Then slowly allow Justin and his good wife to hug you too in order for you to begin to trust yourself first and then the special people who will love and respect you for who you really are NOW. Hi don't forget spend time soaking in Darlene's words to you in her comment. SHe's great and we are lucky she is still finding the time to comment. Her book will get published eventually because she is committed and dedicated to still stewarding her site with love through her understanding and love comments to you and each of her new visitors. Thank you for writing your story to her.

Jul 31, 2009
Some things to think about
by: Anonymous

These people may be your genetic family, but they do not function as a family should. Parents should nurture and protect their children. In your case, they are hurting you, and don't help you in any way.

If I were you, and I couldn't get away from these people, I would do the following things. I would call the police if they touch you. Document any abuse with photographs and have them dated. Report all incidents to the police. Do not care if they get in trouble. That's not your problem. Protect yourself as much as you can.



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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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