Comments for Child Abuse Story From Tia

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Jul 19, 2008
Is it any wonder?
by: Anonymous

I've reaad enough stories on this site and every one of the pages on the left margin so based on what I have read here you have every reason to feel the way you do about your childhood even if it didn't happen to you personally.

Jul 23, 2008
I think I can relate to you...
by: Hello

Similarly to you, I have grown up in a home where other members of my family have been hurt, but not me directly. Believe me, your story is not insignificant. It can be just as damaging, if not more at times, watching other people suffering.

Well done for finding things in your life that make you happy; I am glad for you. You deserve that happiness.

You were brave to speak the truth when your mother asked you to write the letter of apology, even if people made you out to look bad. You were right to speak up and try to make a stand. It was not acceptable for your father to do this, even if it had happened to him; it is honorable to break the chain of abuse and restore happiness to a family, not to hurt your descendants instead. I know I will never continue what my father has done to my family.

It is common for violent parents to be abusive on one hand, and loving on the other. My father was the same, but that does not, and never will, make their behaviour acceptable. I also think that it was good of your mother to try to protect you at times, although it seems there were times where she could have done more to help, for example, not trying to use your father's abuse against you if you misbehaved. My mother always stood up for me, and I will always love her for that.

I still remember that feeling of tension you describe, even now. There was times I would wake up in the middle of the night, thinking I could hear screaming when in fact it was all in my head. Witnessing people you love being hurt is torture. Nobody should have to endure that.

Your story may seem like a scattered mess to you. Don't worry. It must be hard for you when people see your father in such a positive light, whereas when you think of him, you know the truth, and that light is tainted. It's awful to feel trapped like that, to be alone and for nobody to realise what you are going through. Just remember, for everything he did, you owe him nothing. He should have been protecting the family, not hurting them.

If he hasn't already, I think your brother should get some help. I used to, and still do a bit, have a problem with eye contact. It makes my social life very difficult for me, but I'm pulling through.

Thank you for submitting your story. It was very helpful to me.

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this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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