Comments for Child Abuse Story From Tess H

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Jun 18, 2011
Tess:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I think you'll find that most of us abuse victims/survivors understand what you're saying and where you're coming from. Most of us have felt exactly the same way at some point in their lives. And some still do feel that way. One of the steps toward healing and recovery is wanting to heal. Years ago I learned that I could not circumvent the pain I felt about my past. I learned I had to go through the pain in order for it to let me go. I couldn't let IT go; it had to let ME go. For some, that's semantics. But it really isn't. If we try to let what happened to us go, it hangs on for dear life. That's why the "get over it" and "it's in the past" messages we constantly hear from well-meaning but misguided people doesn't work. Tess, please consider some form of counselling in order to help you deal with all you endured as a child. Consider the work of Byron Katie or Colin Tipping. But keep an open mind with both their approaches. On the surface, they may appear to be advocating for denial, but their approaches are all about facing our personal truth and then holding that personal truth up to scrutiny. In other words, recognizing that it's our thoughts that keep us imprisoned. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Jun 19, 2011
Even animals would never treat their young so sadistically
by: Anonymous

Tess, you were given a raw, crappy deal and so were your sisters because your so-called mother was so twisted in her own ways of thinking that she didn't even know how to take care of herself, not to mention be a mother to you. She didn't know how to love even herself; all she ever knew was hate so she should've known better and loved and cherished you. She was also a sadistic brute...and throwing you guys into a scalding hot shower and watching you guys get burned by the water while berating you guys and slamming one of your sisters under the water for urinating in the water during bath-time are really cowardly things to do because only cowards would do such things to such innocent, helpless little girls you guys once were. If she didn't want you to be there, then she should've had the courage to give you guys up for adoption and leave instead of sadistically abusing you guys. The path that she chose was and still is inexcusable. Oh, and shame on her for leaving you guys to get raped by those slimy excuses of men! You are not to blame for her sadistic, ignorant behavior; she is to blame (and so are those slimy "men") because, remember, abusers always choose to abuse. You and your sisters were the children, she was the adult, she, along with those slimy "men", had all the power and only misused it over you guys. I really hope that you are in a safe place now, that you try counselling and that you look into reporting that sad, tragic excuse of a woman and her slimy boyfriends for all those terrible crimes that they committed against you and your sisters.

Jun 19, 2011
THANK YOU: You are truly a very special person
by: maurice

Tess H you truly are remarkable: special: the best : In sharing your story you not only drew from darlene's heart such honest and true feelings which I have no doubt will empower you to act on her words: But her words meant so much to me this day I needed to hear these very exact words for myself in my healing process; So Tess H I am certain her comment to you will sink into many of her visitors hearts to empower them to Always believe in themselves: There is life after a life of being abused: You can be certain Tess H all on this safe haven site can and do empatise with you and all you endured during your abuse: yes I am certain too the parts you had to leave out can be felt by each of us too: You sure told enough for Darlene to empatise with you in her personal words to you: You'll be fine: Some form of counselling will sure help you: Protect your self by loving the great woman you are NOW slowly rid yourself of the awful memories and effects of all the Abuse: None of your doing: Not your fault don't judge yourself too harshly now: Don't blame yourself: Have a healthy mature adult informed
mind in your beautiful body: I WILL I CAN I MUST
BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT: A THERAPIST/COUNSELLOR WILL PUT YOUR SHARING HERE AND WHAT DARLENE RELATED TO YOU FROM HER HEART INTO UNDERSTANDING AND PERSPECTIVE: Don't be afraid to hug and cuddle yourself alot: make yourself feel good after a radox bath or hot shower: soothe massage scented oils cream into your body and cuddle them into you: I'm not being silly to ask you do that: You'll reap the benefit of it once you do it: I'M SPECIAL: I LOVE ME: THAT ME IN THE MIRROR I HOPE IT IS AS TALL AS YOU Celebrate you: who me yes me OK Tess H. Thank you again Darlene comment to you spoke to me too this day

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