Comments for Child Abuse Story From Sweetie

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Nov 26, 2008
A roller-coaster of emotions...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Sara, I really am glad to learn that you and your mother seem to have a good relationship right now; but what you lived and endured at the hands of your abusive mother is likely going to manifest in ways that will affect many areas of your life. Perhaps not now, but later on when you find yourself in stages of your life, in situations that you have never before experienced and have difficulty dealing with; when you find yourself thrown into circumstances that trigger memories and events that transport you back to the helpless little girl being brutalized by your mother.

You said: "...I honestly feel as though she (your mother) tried her best to raise both my brother and I on her own and the only way she could." Sara, there is a huge difference between "explaining and understanding" abusive behaviour after dealing with the repercussions of that abusive behaviour, and "excusing" abusive behaviour in order to mask and therefore not deal with the emotions that abusive behaviour caused. I'm wondering if the storytelling has become a telling story. Consider that as soon as she was "caught" she stopped; that's very "telling" Sara.

Our mothers were similar. Mine was an expert at fooling others. I couldn't understand how it was that people were so easily deceived by her, how it was that so many believed every word she said about me. She made herself look like a good mother and a victim at my hands, and lied about me specifically to get me in trouble and so that people saw me as a "terrible" daughter who needed to be, in her words "slapped down". And then when it was just her and me, she was taunting and malicious: "They'll never believe you; they'll always believe me" she'd say. It was crazy-making because it was true. I was 13 years old before a teacher finally discovered for himself that my mother was capable of lying in a way that was designed to make it so that I faced harsh punishment. My mother was mentally ill, and I know that she did the best she could under those circumstances. But before I got help for myself, for me to say that her calculated behaviour was "the best she could do" would have been ignoring the reality that without a word of doubt she knew what she was doing at the time. I know this sounds like a contradiction, but if I had continued to ignore this fact, I would not have been able to deal with the traumatizing emotions her behaviour caused in me.

Keep writing, Sara; writing is cathartic. But don't stop there. I urge you to look into some form of counselling, if not now, sometime in the near future; otherwise, that roller-coaster ride can get awfully bumpy.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Dec 01, 2008
the story is the same
by: touched2mysoul

My story is the same... manipulating mother.. everyone thought that she was this great mom.. and me??? I was the devil according to her... I am currently in counciling and it was the best thing i have ever done... the pain, the memories, the flashbacks, the embarrasement, confusion etc all comes back ... its still hard... dec is a tough month for me ... the memories are many and the questions are still there... but with the help i get from talking to someone each week... i am getting thru it... the worst part was i was a kid and the world looked at me thru my mothers eyes cause she was the adult and everyone thought she was right... i am paying for that everyday of my life...
You are not alone in your experience nor in your

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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