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Oct 27, 2008
You are looking at this the WRONG way...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Susan, to label yourself as being a "willing (and often a very enthusiastic) victim in a gay affair" is looking at this oh so wrong! You were a young child when all this was going on. Just because Jackie didn't inflict physical pain, just because she didn't force you doesn't mean that abuse didn't take place. She "groomed" you, Susan. Regardless of how you felt at the time, you were manipulated and taken advantage of by an older child. Of course you would want her affections. Of course you would like the attention. Of course you would be "willing" when you believed you were being loved and nurtured and given all the attentive support you were so lacking at home. This wasn't an "affair"; an affair is a sexual relationship between two consenting adults. Children are not capable of "consent"; no matter what you say, Susan, no matter what you think, what happened to you was abuse, pure and simple, no doubt about it.

I can certainly understand why you now hate Jackie. You are now mature enough to bring some clarity to what happened to you as a child. But now you are also applying more mature values to decisions you made as that child; you cannot hold yourself responsible for those choices, Susan. You were too young to know any different.

I do strongly recommend some form of counselling in order to put some perspective on all this and in order to help you deal with the emotional turmoil you are now feeling. And just so you know, it is highly likely that Jackie herself was molested as a child. That does not in ANY way shape or form excuse her inappropriate and molesting behaviour; rather, it may help you to explain it.

Thank you, Susan, for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Oct 30, 2008
My thoughts are with you
by: kristen

Hi Susan,

I am writing to say that my thoughts are with you. Talking here is a new thing for me and I am not sure how well I relate to the many things that I read here. But I can relate to the part about being a willing participant. How do you tell. I can understand bing willing and eager.

It is not my place to give advice but my thoughts are with you. I hope you are able to work through this and find peace and find meaning and to go forward.

kristen

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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